Bridget McNulty

An early morning confession:

// March 6th, 2008 // Blogs, Competition, Strange Nervous Laughter, Writing

Okay, it’s not that early, but it is still a confession!  A real one, too.

Up until very recently I secretly cared a whole lot about how my blogs ranked in comparison to other people. ThoughtLeader has a ranking system of popularity (how harsh is that?) so I could always see how I was shaping up, and then I found this website that ranks all South African blogs, and I was always (always!) just under the Top 10. And this other girl’s blog was always (always!) a couple above mine. And I could never figure out why…

The one day I made it to the Top 10 I slipped down again the next. Laughable, but tragic at the time!

Today, believe it or not, I’m at number 8. And last week I was number 2 (two!) on the ThoughtLeader list. But somehow I’ve gotten over the addiction of competitiveness. I no longer gauge the success of a piece of writing by how popular it’s deemed to be by the internet-reading-masses. I’ve learnt to enjoy the process of writing, rather than the finished result.

You see, this whole Blog Awards thing has me thinking. I look at many of the other blogs nominated, and they’re really flash, really complicated. They have pictures and videos (videos! How on earth do you get videos?) and all these links to different websites and blog rankings and widgets and ads. And, for me, that’s not the point. The point used to be to get publicity for my book, I admit (it’s the morning of confessions, after all). But it has become, slowly and softly, a way for me to collect my thoughts each morning. To think about where I am in my life, what’s going on that’s at the front of my mind, and try to get some perspective on it.

The fact that people read these thoughts just makes it more worthwhile…

So! That’s my confession. I used to be a nasty blog competitor, always on the alert for who was doing better than me and scoffing at their attempts. Now I’m just a good old fashioned writer. With (and here’s Confession Number Three for the morning!) hopes of one day turning some of these morning musings into a Thought for the Day book. I’ve always  wanted to write one, and never quite known how… Perhaps this blog has given me the perfect route!

And now, just to show I’m not a total internet retard, I’m going to find a picture to illustrate this post. Something with butterflies, because although they’ve become a cheesy symbol, they’re actually quite wonderful and one just flew into my cottage!