A no-regrets life.
// July 11th, 2008 // Cape Town, Life (and the living of it), Love
I’ve always been pretty good about not regretting things.
Oh, sure, sometimes I think I could have figured things out quicker, or perhaps not made things as difficult for myself as I did, but all in all I’m of the belief that things work out just as they should, so regrets are largely a waste of time.
That’s in retrospect, though.
I think the difficulty comes in when we live life looking forward (which is really the best way to live) and we have to make decisions knowing that we’re aiming for a no-regrets life.
What do I mean?
Well. A friend of mine is going overseas today – back to London. He had to move to Cape Town because his dad died and he had to sort out his affairs, but in the months that he’s lived here it’s turned into a home (funny how that’s the theme this week, isn’t it?). Now he’s returning to London, to see if he can salvage his relationship (long distance is the worst) and to try and create a life (and a home) there.
It would be much easier to stay here. But in the interests of living a no-regrets life, he has to give it a try. So that he knows, in retrospect, that he lived out loud, that he made the bold choice, that he won’t be sitting in comfort and wondering what-if.
And it’s got me wondering. How much, in life, do we do because it’s comfortable, and how much do we do because we want to live a no-regrets kind of life?
6 Responses to “A no-regrets life.”
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I completely agree with you! I am currently in a situation where I am not enjoying certain aspects of my life and have decided that the best thing to do is make a change towards what will make my life happier. But I can see why the majority of people ultimately do things because it is comfortable. I am not someone who is afraid of change but when you think about it, change is often the unknown and sometimes you tend to stay with things because at least you know where they will lead. And when you are looking for change, you’ll suddenly have a good day and think, ‘well my life really isn’t that bad’, ‘some other people have it worst than me’….but I don’t think anyone should settle for anything less than what makes their lives incredibly worth while…which is why I believe in striving for a regret-free life, and I suppose it is just the choice that you yourself have to make, to be bold enough to face the unknown
(And good for your friend for trying to make things work…a lot of people wouldn’t!)
I know! Isn’t it interesting that when 9/10 of things are bad, and then one thing goes right you think, “Oh, okay, maybe I’m exaggerating!”
When really we should all be striving for 10/10 lives…
i don’t really want to live with the notion of “regret”…i want to believe that every choice matters, whether the outcome was what i expected or not. live in the now, so it’s said, and life will reveal itself as it’s meant to. but i get confused when foresight gets all tied up with my resolve not to stress about the future…how do i achieve my goals without it? what is “now” without the “later”?
I know what you mean… For me, it’s kind of a ‘do your best then jump into the unknown.’
You can only live in the now, right? But while you’re in the now you have to do your 100% best to ensure things will pan out the way you want to. There comes a time, though, when you’ve done all you need to do, and the only thing left to be done is to let go and trust it will work out just as it should (even if it’s not even close to the way you planned it!)
So it’s not stressing about the future, it’s planning and then letting go. Like packing for a holiday, but understanding that you won’t necessarily wear all the clothes you packed… At least, that’s the way it feels for me!
I made a very similar decision to your friend, Bridget. I met a girl, who left for London 15 days later. After nine weeks I followed her, and here I am, and I love her and she loves me.
So one might be tempted to say that all’s well that ends well, except that the end is nowhere insight. I’ll soon be back in Cape Town and she’ll be in Edinburgh, probably… but that’s all part of it…
Sometimes I stress about the future. Other times I resolve to let Future Patrick deal with it.
Much as it’s difficult to let go of the future, I think we underestimate the power of life to get in the way… Who knows what might happen before you move back to Cape Town? Or after you do? Life is like a lucky packet. Not always a GOOD lucky packet, but one that’s full of surprises. Good luck!