Bridget McNulty

The father-daughter bond…

// August 15th, 2008 // Life (and the living of it), Love

I’ve been thinking about my dad lately, for a number of reasons (not least of which because he had a birthday a couple of weeks ago – on a Sunday, so he missed out on his blog post!)

I’ve always felt extremely lucky that I got my dad. I sometimes feel like the parents you end up with are a random assignment – a lucky draw of life that will affect pretty much everything you do for the rest of your life. So I lucked out!

Of course, as a teenager having to endure sex talks with him, I was a little less certain of this, especially seeing as I was the only girl… Can there be anything more mortifying than your dad talking to you about sex? I don’t think so. But then I grew up (thank goodness) and now we have a really rare and wonderful relationship.

My dad is wise. Everyone sees it. At pivotal points in my life he writes me long, rambling (almost impossible-to-decipher-because-of-his-handwriting) letters full of advice. He’s strong and courageous and so fully present in what he believes. I can’t tell you how reassuring it is having this presence in my life – a father who is steady and dependable, a mother who is full of love.

I think sometimes dads get the short end of the stick, to be honest. Think of Mother’s Day – it’s all soppy and sweet, all about how much your mom means to you. Father’s Day? Pictures of golf clubs and beer mugs abound. And maybe it’s because dads were classically not around as much as moms, but I think the father-daughter bond is so important, not only to give you a sense of self, but to give you a belief in your self-worth and set you up for positive male relationships in the future.

How many women do you know who have screwed-up relationships with their dads and subsequently can’t ever find a good guy to date? It’s a cliche because it’s true…

I think a lot of the time we forget to acknowledge the things (and people) closest to us, because they’re so much a part of us we think they already know. And maybe they do. But that’s no reason not to throw a big ball of love at them anyway!