Bridget McNulty

Missing out?

// October 7th, 2008 // Decisions, Inspiration, Life (and the living of it)

I think one of my worst feelings ever is the feeling that I’m missing out on something…

I’m spending this week in Durban with my dad, hanging out with him while my mom is overseas spending time with my niece… It’s such a wonderful thing – being given this opportunity to spend quality one-on-one time with my dad, and really connecting with each other. Very rare. In a family of six, you usually don’t get to spend time two by two!

Anyhoo, on Sunday there was a band playing here in Durban, and I was tempted to go… but really didn’t feel like it. I wanted to stay at home and go through slides with my dad – he drove from Cape Town to London in the early 1970s and we’re going to put his slides onto DVD. So I stayed home and looked at slides and listened to my dad’s stories, and it was a great evening. But only after I’d stopped feeling like I was missing out on something! It’s so funny, even when I don’t feel like going out I get that worry that it’s going to be a really good party, and I should have gone.

But as soon as I acknowledge how I really feel – as soon as I say, “No thanks, I don’t want to,” and really believe it, that feeling vanishes.

It made me think about how often we do this, every day. How often we make a decision (big or small) and then spend hours or days worrying about if it was the right decision. I’m going to try (very hard) to stop doing that – to be fully present in myself, and in my decisions. To stop wasting time.