Bridget McNulty

Are you ready for a challenge?

// November 20th, 2008 // Decisions, Life (and the living of it), Love, Philosophy

This idea has been thrown at me from three different sources in the last week or so, so I know it’s something I have to come to grips with (I’m not completely blind to the ways of the Universe!)

That said, I wouldn’t mind getting some input on it. Are you ready for a challenge?

Apparently, anything that irritates you in another person is a part of yourself that you’re either denying, or that you’re exhibiting in another area of your life. The people who frustrate and annoy you the most are the mirrors that show you what it is you’re not dealing with in your life.

Now, if you’re like me, this theory will immediately irritate you! But I must admit, once I started thinking about it, it started to make sense… Start with something easy – some mild irritation. Someone who is lazy or selfish or who you don’t think is fulfilling their potential, say. Now, can you see that trait in yourself in any area of your life? It could be in your romantic life, your friendships, your family, your work, your spiritual or your mental life – anywhere in any way. It’s a pretty powerful exercise, especially when it’s someone who you have to interact with every day. Seeing the humanity in someone who you think is a bit of a demon opens the doorway to loving and forgiving them, which translates into a whole heap less stress in your interactions with that person…

Sometimes, though, especially when it’s a deep-seated dislike or irritation, I think it can come from a part of ourselves that we suppress. I was chatting to a friend about this the other day, and she said she gets so annoyed with her colleague at work because he never listens to anyone else’s opinions – he just bulldozes any conversation until it goes his way. The reason this bothered her so much was because her mom used to do the same thing, and so my friend had suppressed her desire to be pig-headed (even a little bit, which can be quite useful at times, especially in business). She’d gone to the other extreme. Recognising that her reaction to this colleague was because of an unresolved reaction to her mom allowed her to neutralise it and let it go… Now she still thinks the colleague is an idiot, but she doesn’t get that gut emotional reaction to it.

Interesting stuff, hey? Why not give it a try? I’m going to….