Bridget McNulty

What helps you go downstream?

// April 1st, 2009 // Decisions, Inspiration, Life (and the living of it)

I’ve been considering, lately, this idea of going upstream versus downstream.

It’s not a new idea, but I recently watched an amazing DVD by the very inspiring Esther Hicks which gave it a new angle… From her perspective, going downstream isn’t being passive and letting life take you wherever it wants (which I don’t like), but consciously moving in the direction of what feels right and intuitively good (which I do like).

Sometimes, of course, we have to do things we don’t want to do, but there’s a way of doing it upstream (whining, complaining, dragging your feet) and a way of doing it downstream (accepting that it needs to be done and trying to see the up-side hidden in it). Easier said than done, it’s true! Complaining can be such fun. But everything we want is downstream, and if we can just stop paddling in the opposite direction to what it is we want, we’ll feel a lot more relief, a lot more joy, and a lot less angst. Or, in her words, “As long as you’re turned in opposition to what you want, you’re not going to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be.”

This doesn’t mean that if you stop harping on about what you don’t like or what frustrates you, you’ll instantly turn in the opposite direction, of course. It’s not a quick-fix angst-to-joy solution. But it is a route to feeling better, and the key is to be on the lookout for that moment of relief, when you can feel your ‘boat’ turning from battling upstream to flowing downstream.

Practically, what does this mean? Well, take yesterday, for example. Our internet was bust and I had a whole day of online book marketing work to do (i.e. work that required the internet!) My man was grumpy because he had too much work to do. And our toilet wouldn’t stop leaking. Never mind the insistent drill in the background. I could feel myself getting steadily more and more agitated, and starting to tell myself stories in my head (you know, the “Why does it all happen at the same time? It never rains but it pours!” story. It’s a popular one!)
And then I thought, wait! I’m going upstream! I have to find a way to go downstream. So I did a 15 minute guided meditation (that my best friend gave me and that I absolutely love). Then I lay in my hammock and listened to one of my favourite Sigur Ros tracks, a perfect blend of soothing and inspiring. And then I put on some loud sing-along songs (Belle and Sebastian works like a charm) and danced around the flat for a few minutes.

And what do you know? New perspective! No problem.

So I’m curious… When you find yourself going upstream (feeling irritated / angry / frustrated / anxious) what helps you go downstream?