We arrived home late yesterday afternoon, and I’m jetlagged and exhausted and so deeply happy to be back in South Africa.
I’ll be blogging regularly again, now that life has returned to semi-normal (still homeless till the beginning of next month, and interviewing for jobs in the next couple of weeks – I’ll keep you posted!)
Mostly, though, just happy. Happy to be home. Happy to not have to live out of a suitcase for much longer. Happy to see family and friends.
I am SO happy! I can’t even tell you. I’ve been grinning nonstop since yesterday evening (yes, all through the night – I hardly slept a wink!)
So here’s how it happened…
Yesterday around 6pm Mark told me he had a surprise for me, and that I had to meet him on the beach in half an hour… We’ve been staying in a charming little fishing village called Amed, on the North coast of Bali (in Indonesia) for the last five nights, and we’ve loved every second of it. Not at all touristy (unlike the rest of Bali), fantastic scuba diving, incredible snorkelling, and superb grilled prawns and Indonesian delicacies eaten right on the beach. Divine.
So I head down to the beach and there’s a part of me that’s thinking, ‘Is he about to propose?’ because it was all so mysterious. But I had a feeling he might propose on Christmas Day and he didn’t, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up.
I walk to the restaurant where he said he’d meet me, and what do I see? No Mark. But the waitress was all clued up, handed me two fresh mango juices (our favourite, unbelievably sweet and fresh and yummy) and told me to wait a few minutes.
Less than two minutes later, I see Mark heading towards shore on a local fisherman’s boat. Looked something like this:
I climb on board and off we go, on a ’sunset cruise’, he tells me. So we’re sitting out there soaking up the view (a volcano, an island fringed with palm trees, an endless horizon in the other direction, the clouds streaked pink with sunset just around the corner, a half moon starting to rise) and sipping our mango juice.
Dusk is my favourite time of day, the ocean is my favourite place to be, I have a thing about endless horizons. And Mark’s all fidgety and looks nervous, so of course I’m wondering what’s up. Then he pulls out a dozen candles and lights them and I start to feel like I know what’s coming up…
After many more minutes of a really magical slice of my life, Mark turns to me and says, “Will you marry me?”
I was so happy I couldn’t even speak – crying and laughing at the same time, honestly it’s the best feeling in the world! But of course I said yes.
And then he gave me my ring – a bamboo ring he’d found in Thailand (and been carrying around for the last four months!) with strips of silver that he’d had a local silversmith in Gili Air (the island we were on last week) put in. I love it! It’s just perfect – I told him once that I wanted a ring I could swim in the sea with. It’s so me.
And now we’re ENGAGED!!! And we are both on Cloud Nine. It’s a lovely place to be.
I’ve been worrying, the last couple of days, about our budget. I hate money worries, they make me feel all stressed and wound up inside. So I went looking for some stress relief – a little wisdom. And my favourite wisdom-giver of the moment (especially to do with money and energy) is Abraham-Hicks. Check out their website here, you can watch videos, read excerpts from their books, or get a breakdown of their philosophy.
I downloaded three short videos to watch, and one of them gave me what I like to call a ‘brain explosion’ – a sudden realisation of something that should be really obvious.
She’s talking about how we all know what it is we want, and often spend our days complaining about what we want and how we don’t have it. I think, in general, I’m pretty good at not complaining, but I caught myself last night saying to Mark how I don’t know how we got to this point – of needing to be careful of our budget – and I don’t think it’s fair because we’ve been giving it our 100%, and I don’t want to go back to having to consciously stop myself worrying about money, like we were doing in the month before our trip when we didn’t know if it would be possible. Sounds a tad like complaining, don’t you think?
You know what he said? ‘It doesn’t matter how we got here.’
At the time I didn’t really pay attention to what he was saying (I’m really good at continuing a one-way discussion when I’m on a roll), but essentially this is what Esther was saying this morning: You have to stop beating the drum of how you got here and how things used to be and how much you want them to be different, or you can’t receive what you’ve been asking for. By constantly looking over your shoulder and dwelling in the past, or worrying about the future, you never give the Universe (or God, or whatever you’d like to call it), a spare second to break through and give you what you’re asking for.
The solution? Instead of worrying about what it is you want, focus on the future in a hopeful, positive way. Look forward to the life you’ve asked for coming your way. In many ways, this is exactly what our Round the World trip is about – we looked forward to it for months and months. But it’s easy to slip back into old habits, and I think that’s what’s happened when it comes to money. I feel like if I don’t worry about it then the situation won’t right itself. But in truth, as long as we’re doing all we can to earn as we travel, worrying makes absolutely no sense. And it certainly doesn’t make a difference!
So from now on I’m focusing on the future that I want. Care to join me?
You know, I was pretty sure I was going to get sick of traveling. That might be a foolish thing to be sure of when you’re on a nine month journey, but I’ve always been such a homebody that I thought the allure would wear off. I was wrong.
So far, so good. We’re 6 weeks in and going strong, with not a hint of travel weariness or being sick of living out of a suitcase or being in a different bed every second night. Both Mark and I have become champions at sleeping in strange beds (hard, soft, long, short, small, massive, pillowy, bricklike) and apart from the odd sleepless night, we appear to be doing well. It’s not only about the beds, though (obviously). It’s about the whole malarkey – the finding out how to get from one place to another, finding a place to stay when you get there, making sure it’s the right kind of place (and within your budget), finding somewhere to eat, taking in the sights, and sometimes, every so often, finding a spot to chill out. I think if we were hardcore tourists, it would be completely exhausting. But we are, for the most part, quite laidback when it comes to traveling.
We’re doing it for such a long time, you see. And I think this is what I’ve learnt, so far: that traveling is a lot like real life. You have days that are hard work and admin, days that you have piles of paperwork to plough through (especially when you’re documenting it as thoroughly as we are!), days when you don’t feel so good and you just want to take it easy, and days when you really just need to chill. The beauty of traveling, as opposed to real life (apart from seeing amazing things and experiencing new cultures, of course) is that it’s easier to be good to yourself. There’s no point in pushing through, no reward from a boss at the end of the road if you get all stressed out and work yourself into the ground. And I think that’s what I’m really enjoying about it… The immediacy. It is all about right here right now. What do you want to do today? How do you feel? What do you hope to get out of the day? Okay, let’s work with that.
It’s something I hope to carry home with me, along with my already-battered suitcase and my taste for lime and black pepper (which I picked up fairly recently, in Cambodia!)
If you’re looking for more up-to-the-minute updates about our travels, videos, photos and video blogs, visit us at Sweet Life – www.justtheplanet.com/sweet-life
In the meantime, aren’t you tempted to take a travel day? A day where you do what you feel like doing, right here, right now?
So we’ve been by the sea for nearly a week, and I have to say I love it. Absolutely love it! Forget cities, forget towns, I love love love being by the sea. I always knew this, of course, but now I’m 100% sure.
We arrived in the sleepy seaside town of Ban Krut last week – exhausted, sweaty, a little strung out. Sick of being on the move. 5 nights later we emerged (like butterflies out of a cocoon!) rested, relaxed, happy and calm. We’ve spent the last six days getting enough sleep, swimming in the sea, waking up early to watch the sunrise, eating delicious food, reading a lot and spending real quality time with each other. Most days we had a vague itinerary when we woke up (rent a motorbike and explore the surrounds, walk the length of the beach, do some photographic or writing work), but nothing too strenuous. We left plenty of time for afternoon naps and long picnic lunches and spontaneous swims…
It was a delight! Which was why I was so surprised to wake up on Monday feeling down. Nothing specific, nothing related to traveling or being away from home (I went through the checklist and none of the possible problems rang true). Just a bit… off. Now, my initial impulse was to say, “How could you possibly be feeling down? Look around you! You’re in a beach paradise!” but I decided not to fight against it (what’s the point when you’re already not feeling great?) and spend the morning lying in our little air-conditioned bungalow, watching movies on TV. I gave in to feeling down.
And wouldn’t you know it, a couple of hours later I got up for lunch and felt much better. I think maybe I just needed some nothing-time. Weirdly enough, I remember having a conversation about this exact thing with a friend who asked how we’d avoid burn-out. I said, “If we need to take a day out watching TV we will – no problem!” When it came down to it, though, I actually felt a little guilty… Isn’t that silly?
Of course, not having to move around so much has also made it a lot easier to keep an eye on my diabetes, and get back into tighter control. When you’re hopping between trains and buses and walking unknown distances it’s not a good idea to be too tightly in control, but when you’re in one place it’s easier to make sure my blood glucose readings are closer to what they should be. This also means, though, that I’ve had more lows this week than at any other time during the trip. I hate lows! I’m sure all diabetics do…
So we had a blissful (for the most part) six days in Ban Krut, and then got an opportunity at the last minute to spend a night on Koh Talu Island, less than an hour away – a private island with a low-key resort and a truly inspiring coral regeneration project. I’ll be writing about it soon, I’ll keep you posted. We had such a wonderful time there – snorkeling, swimming, and finding out all about the project (see Mark in snorkeling mode here!)
And now we’re about to catch our train back to Bangkok (no running to catch it this time, thank you very much – we’re going to be very early!) Tomorrow night I head off to Vienna for the Novo Nordisk International Diabetes Media Prize Conference (keep your fingers crossed for me!) and on Friday morning Mark will fulfil a long-held dream and go to Singapore to watch the F1 Grand Prix live (the ticket is a little early-birthday-gift from me).
So it’s an exciting couple of days ahead! I’ll keep you updated when I can…
(This blog was first published on Sweet Life, our Traveling with Diabetes blog).
I’m finished. Exhausted, yes, and done with packing, yes (nearly), and done with goodbyes, yes.
We move out tomorrow, and then spend three heavenly no-packing-up, no-million-things-to-do days at my brother’s, so I’ll have time to spend with the baby (my neice), which makes me very happy! And time to unwind a little, and catch my breath. I feel as if I’m extremely tightly strung at the moment. I had forgotten how stressful moving was!
Now combine moving with trying to plan 9 months on the road… Yikes.
I also just wanted to say, in this brief moment of respite in between boxes, that I’ll still be popping in here now and again, but that my main bloggy emphasis will be over at Sweet Life (once again, for those who haven’t been paying attention! www.justtheplanet.com/sweet-life)
It’s such an integral part of our journey, the personal perspective, that I don’t want to dilute it by writing on two blogs at once and splitting myself in two. That said, sometimes I’ll think of something particularly suited to this blog (I’m sure) and I’ll write here too – so don’t stop visiting, please.
It’s funny, throughout all this extremely busy, frantic, preparation time I’ve felt stressed at the amount of work to do, but by no means stressed about the upcoming journey. I’m ready for it. It’s such a lovely feeling…
I hope you’ll come follow us and join in the journey!
With only a week to go till our Big Adventure begins, we’re gathering travel tips like squirrels gather nuts for the winter… Head on over to Sweet Life, our travelling blog, to see the great suggestions we’ve got so far – and please feel free to add your own!
I realised something interesting (and a little embarrassing) about myself this weekend… I have a code of conduct. A way that I think people should behave. A set of social rules that I believe people should live by. Do you?
It came up because of the behaviour of a certain friend (remember when I asked for your advice about friends here?)
It’s one of the friends I’ve been slowly growing apart from, and it’s pretty closely linked to the post I wrote before, about how I always expect friends to be as present for me as I am for them. Now that I got that great advice from all of you, I feel a lot more comfortable about not letting it get to me as much. Which is why I could look at the situation from a distance and see the stark truth: I have a code of conduct, and the reason I’m so disappointed in this friend is because she’s not behaving the way I think she should be.
Isn’t that ridiculous?
Even more surprising for me is the fact that, although I think of myself as a very honest person, my code of conduct includes quite a few ‘put a smile on and be gracious’ clauses (is this because of my Catholic School Upbringing?) I think if you’re exiting a friendship, you should exit with grace. That you should be as polite as possible. This has definitely got me into hot water before – I remember distinctly becoming friends with a vegan guy in college (who quickly proved to be a lot weirder than I could have anticipated!) and promising that I’d bake him a vegan cake for his birthday. By the time his birthday rolled around we weren’t really friends any more, but I still baked him the cake, because I’d promised to! He was rather confused.
Still, I think it’s possible to do things in the nicest possible way, don’t you? Although that does conflict with a phrase I love from my practical philosophy class: Tell the truth pleasantly, not pleasant untruths.
What do you think? Make it nice and gracious, or be totally honest and risk hurting someone’s feelings?
