Posts Tagged ‘home’

Day 22: Much-needed money

// July 23rd, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Cape Town, Decisions

money
I’ve spoken before about how easy it is as South Africans to become jaded towards beggars. There are just so many of them, and if we reached out to all of them, we’d soon be penniless and depressed.

I’ve had a realllly busy week, and I must confess that I didn’t even think about a gift yesterday – I was too busy driving to and from Gordon’s Bay for a Fresh Living TV shoot. Very exciting!

But as I pulled up to the traffic light near my house, I saw the old man who begs there every day. And while this may sound like a simple statement, the fact that I saw him was quite remarkable, because I usually drive past and don’t notice that he’s there. So, on impulse, I reached into my wallet and gave him some much-needed money. Much more than I  usually would have. Because sometimes you just have to follow the impulse, you know?

Day 20: Yet another succulent

// July 21st, 2010 // 5 Comments » // Nature, Philosophy

desk plant

I know, I know, another succulent… But this one was actually requested by a colleague because her desk looked lonely.

And then my mug cracked, and instead of being sad about (yet another) mug breaking before my very eyes, I decided it was happy timing and filled it with some dirt and a plant. Because sometimes when things you love break, you just have to accept that they’re broken and make the best out of a bad situation.

Yip, I’m trying to insert a little philosophy into today’s succulent post, did you notice?

Day 19: Nesting kit

// July 20th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // Inspiration, Tea Parties

pan

Those of you (men) who don’t have the nesting instinct might not know how essential nesting tools are. But let me tell you – when a woman wants to make her home her own, numerous nesting kits are necessary.

So when I heard that a lovely friend of mine has finally started nesting in her flat (despite having lived there for many months) I decided I had to encourage the nesting drive and buy her some tools. Hence the pan / spatula / apron / oven glove combo. In pink! Ohhh yeahhh…

Day 16: Affection

// July 17th, 2010 // 2 Comments » // Blogs, Decisions, Love

affection

So I realised yesterday that even though I’m halfway through this challenge, I haven’t given anything to my man yet… Or my family, actually. I think sometimes when people are very close to you it’s easy to take them for granted a bit.

So I decided, today, to rectify that. My language of love is gifts (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, check this out – I’ve spoken about the 5 love languages before) which is why this challenge appealed to me so much. But my man’s language of love is affection… I often think it’s an easier language to have, because when someone loves you they’ll obviously be affectionate. When you open your arms for a hug, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get one.

But just as a gift doesn’t mean as much when you have to ask for it, affection doesn’t mean as much when you have to ask for it either. So yesterday evening I made a conscious effort to be as affectionate as possible – to step out of my circle of ‘this is me on a Friday night, watching a DVD, eating (yummy) naan bread’ and give him extra hugs and kisses. And don’t you know, he was in the best mood by the end of the evening.

I think it’s something I’m going to do more.

PS: Had to improvise a little with the picture, but these toys are on his desk and they kind of look like they’re hugging, don’t they?

Day 4: Well-meaning tip

// July 4th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Decisions, Inspiration, Life (and the living of it)

tips

We drove to Knysna today, for the Knysna Oyster Festival (we’ll be here for the next 4 days and I am SO happy to be here). The timing couldn’t be better – both my man and I really need a few days out of routine, to catch up with ourselves and each other.

En route we stopped off at the obligatory petrol station for a somewhat crappy lunch (greasy chips and a dry toasted sandwich, yum!) and when I went to the bathroom I saw this sad little tip jar. Surrounded by wilted wet flower petals, I didn’t think there was much chance of the attendant getting any tips today, so I gave her a rather large one.

It’s so funny how knowing you have to give a gift each day makes you more aware of people who might need a bit of cheering up… And this is only day 4! I’m curious to see how my view of the world changes by the end of the month…

Marmalade, magic and mist

// June 4th, 2010 // No Comments » // Cape Town, Inspiration, Tea Parties

Believe it or not, I can actually talk about all three of those things…

Let’s start with marmalade.
I made some! From scratch. In my kitchen. It was terribly satisfying.
I don’t actually eat marmalade, but my man loves it so I thought I’d give it a go. What do you think? Pretty, hmmm? Maybe if you’re nice to me I’ll share the recipe next week.

marmalade

The magic part comes directly from Madame Zingara. I went to the show last night and it blew me away! Extraordinary stuff. The tent is from the 1920s, entirely mirrored and decadently decorated on the inside, and it is filled with colour and life and wonder. Extraordinary performers – acrobats and hula hoop girls (twenty hoops in one go!) and roller skaters and singers, it was honestly jaw-droppingly good stuff. The food was wonderful too – four courses perfectly prepared and delivered (even though there were 300 people there). And, lastly, the company was fab. I was lucky enough to be with my man and four other fabulous folks, including one of my favourite bloggers – I Want That.

And, lastly, mist.
I’m working late today, for the first time since I started this job. It’s Friday evening and I’m ready to go home, but I’m waiting for some files to transfer, and they’re taking a long time. Outside it’s starting to get dark and the mist is rolling in over the mountains. It’s wintry today, and I am so ready to go home to my nice cosy flat, have a hot cup of tea, change into my schloompfy pyjamas and do nothing much of anything but eat dinner and hang out with my man for the night.

Lovely!

Home!!

// February 11th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Cape Town, Life (and the living of it)

What a pleasure.

We arrived home late yesterday afternoon, and I’m jetlagged and exhausted and so deeply happy to be back in South Africa.

I’ll be blogging regularly again, now that life has returned to semi-normal (still homeless till the beginning of next month, and interviewing for jobs in the next couple of weeks – I’ll keep you posted!)

Mostly, though, just happy. Happy to be home. Happy to not have to live out of a suitcase for much longer. Happy to see family and friends.

*Sigh!*

Opinion poll:

// February 9th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Cape Town, Life (and the living of it)

I need your expert opinions, if you don’t mind.

My man and I have had guests staying with us on and off (but more on than off, I think) for the last 3 or 4 months. Cape Town in the summer is so beautiful, everyone wants to come visit!

And now I’m about to go on a three week trip to the States (in the next couple of months) where I’ll be staying with various friends the whole time.
It’s a delicate balance, this whole guest thing. You don’t want to stay too long, you don’t want to get in the way, but at the same time you want to spend time with your hosts and be a pleasant guest. Someone once told me that house guests are like fish, they go off after three days. True?

So here are my questions, please help me shed some light on the whole conundrum!

  1. How long is the perfect time to stay at a person’s house. 3 nights? 4 nights? One night? Is a week too long?
  2. How much time should you spend with your host, and how much should you give them free space?
  3. As a guest, are you obliged to do all the washing up and tidying, or just a portion of it? (You know how much I hate washing up!)
  4. What’s the correct ‘payback’? Buying them dinner? Buying groceries? (And if so how much?) Gifts
  5. That’s all. I thought I had five but I only had four.

So what do you think? Have you ever had wonder guests? Horror guests? Let’s take a poll on what the Ideal Guest Behaviour is. And then we’ll all be Ideal Guests from here on in!

1121718_christmas_house

Out Of My Comfort Zone.

// September 28th, 2008 // 5 Comments » // Decisions, Inspiration, Life (and the living of it)

I’m going to have to apologise in advance for not blogging at all this week.

I’m off on a trip, you see. A trip completely out of my comfort zone. Quite literally. Off to Joburg today (Monday) and then tomorrow morning (Tuesday) I’m being fetched by a tour guide who will take me on a four day one-on-one trip (for work). We’re going to some amazing places – Kruger Park, Swaziland and St Lucia – before heading down to Durban, where I’ll spend a week at home with my dad. That bit I’m looking forward to
The four days preceding it, not so much.

It’s just that it’s four days alone with a stranger. And yes, we’ll be working and he’s going to be telling me stories which I’ll record to write about later (and turn into audio tours for GPS systems – an extremely pleasant way of paying the bills). But it’s an awfully long time and an awfully long distance to be travelling.

I’ve spoken about this trip with many people (I’ve known about it for weeks) and the opinion on it seems to be pretty evenly divided down the middle.
Half the people I tell say, “Oh shame! What a hard life you live! You get an all-expenses-paid trip to some of the most beautiful country South Africa has to offer!”
The other half says, “The trip itself will be cool… But there won’t be too much personal space. I wouldn’t want to do it.”

And this is what gets me. In a car all day, then eating dinner, then eating breakfast and in a car all day, etc…

The problem is, of course, that I’ve crafted my life here at home too perfectly. I get to be alone all day except for when I want to meet friends for tea or lunch, or when I have friends over for reiki, or when I choose to chat to people on the phone. Sometimes I have meetings, but only ever when I schedule them. I spend evenings and weekends with people I love. I work in my own time, to my own schedule. It’s fabulous! So deeply comfortable. Which is all great, until you need to step out of your comfort zone, and then? It’s terrifying. But as a very wise friend advised me, it’s all very well knowing who you are when you’re in a comfortable place, but knowing who you are in an unknown place is the real challenge…

Of course, this trip is also linked to all my big issues: leaving home, being out of control (I didn’t plan any of it, I have no idea what to expect), being in unfamiliar territory and not being independent. Pretty much all my emotional buttons. You know there are certain things that elicit an instant emotional response from you? I call them emotional buttons (things that you hope won’t be pushed). These are mine.

What’s interesting is that my main emotional button used to be being alone. These days, I could gladly spend a week alone and not think twice about it. But put me in a potentially awkward situation for a sustained period of time, and I start worrying…
And yes, I know. Worrying is like a rocking chair – it keeps you busy but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
I know that it’s a complete waste of time to imagine what it will be like because I have no idea what it will actually be like.
I know that all I can do in a situation like this is to be calm and clear and present in myself, and then no matter what happens I will be able to deal with it.

But lordy lord! That is hard to remember.

So I’ve prepared as much as I possibly can. I’ve written down a list of Pros and Cons and balanced them out (which is supposed to neutralize the fear – fear is expecting the future to be worse than the present). I’ve spent a lot of quiet alone time and time with my man so that I’m feeling emotionally refreshed. I’ve bought fruit and biscuits for the car, and a Phil Collins Greatest Hits CD to listen to at night (it’s no-fail-happy-music, dorky as it might be!)
I have acknowledged that it’s time to face up to my fears and do something that makes me totally uncomfortable.

And I’ll report back at the end of the week!
Wish me luck!!

914772_forbidden_zone

Durban – the secret city

// August 20th, 2007 // 5 Comments » // Durban, Life (and the living of it), Strange Nervous Laughter

I have an enduring love affair with Durban.
It’s early morning and I’m sitting watching the lights go out as Cape Town wakes up, and I have to admit, I love this city. I love that you can walk around semi-safely, I love that there’s a long promenade next to the sea that I can pop down to during my lunch breaks, I love the bakeries.
But Durban, now there’s a city you can’t get over too easily.

I went home for a weekend a little while ago and it just reignited my passion for it – that maelstrom (is that the word?) of colours and sounds and cultures, that layer of filth that covers everything, that heady scent of tropical on the breeze. Getting a bit too lyrical, you think?
Maybe I love it so much because it’s not an easy city to get. Tourists don’t get it, people who visit for the weekend don’t get it. You have to really live in Durban to understand it. The beauty of a late-afternoon swim at Battery Beach, the overwhelming stench of fish at Victoria Street Market, Little Gujarat treats after walking the city for hours, the exhausting heat, the comfortable familiarity of Musgrave Centre. Yip, I even love Musgrave Centre.
There’s just something about Durban that’s very kind – it’s slower and sweeter than the other cities.

What’s so strange for me now is that I’m reading over excerpts of Strange Nervous Laughter (my book) and it’s such a Durban book, and then I look out the window and I’m in Cape Town, the most un-secret city of them all.
And I love them both, really, but I wonder if you ever get over the city you were born in?

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