I have a confession to make: I’m a hoarder. As in, I hoard pretty much anything free that I’m given. I love free stuff, absolutely love it. I’ll accept something solely because it’s free and I feel as if I’m getting a good deal (even if I really don’t want or need it). But as I discovered when we had to clear out our last apartment before we went travelling, a lot of the freebies I get are really not that cool (to me). But by the time I’ve kept them for 6 months or a year, they’ve lost their fresh and shiny allure.

So today I passed on two freebies to the security guards at work. Look, they’re pretty lame keyrings, but the guys seemed pretty happy with them. And like I said, it’s alll about creating new habits, hey? Maybe I can out-habit the hoarder in me.

What do you think? Any chance of that happening?

PS: Let’s also not discount the fact that they call this a 29 day giving challenge because it is a CHALLENGE! To think of something new and not lame every day is harder than I thought it would be…

We arrived home late after our (wonderful) trip to Knysna this evening, and all I really wanted to do was unpack, take a deep breath and have a cup of tea in my lovely little flat.

But a friend of mine has just had some bad news, and I’ve been wanting to chat to her all week. It wasn’t the right time in Knysna – what will all the celebrations and decadence – but this evening was great timing and we had a lovely long chat. I think one of the things this dedication to gift-giving is teaching me, is that sometimes not being selfish for half an hour can really make a difference…

We drove to Knysna today, for the Knysna Oyster Festival (we’ll be here for the next 4 days and I am SO happy to be here). The timing couldn’t be better – both my man and I really need a few days out of routine, to catch up with ourselves and each other.

En route we stopped off at the obligatory petrol station for a somewhat crappy lunch (greasy chips and a dry toasted sandwich, yum!) and when I went to the bathroom I saw this sad little tip jar. Surrounded by wilted wet flower petals, I didn’t think there was much chance of the attendant getting any tips today, so I gave her a rather large one.

It’s so funny how knowing you have to give a gift each day makes you more aware of people who might need a bit of cheering up… And this is only day 4! I’m curious to see how my view of the world changes by the end of the month…

I specially painted a mug to look like the sky (with little puffy clouds!) and put a succulent in it to give to a dear friend. She looked after my succulent garden while we were travelling, and was more than a little sad to say goodbye to it…

She was supposed to come over after work, but was in bed sick, so I scurried over to her house and slipped the succulent under her front gate.

Day 1 of 29. So far, so good!

It’s my BIRTHDAY on Saturday! And although I am turning all of 28 and should have grown out of such things, I am counting. down. the days. I absolutely love birthdays. Everything about them – celebrating, eating cake, being spoilt, presents (those above all).

But this year, in the spirit of growing older and (one hopes) wiser, I want to spread the birthday love a little further than just sitting back and waiting to receive gifts. I want a challenge.

So when I heard about 29 gifts, 29 days I was excited. Very excited. My mom told me about it, and the idea is that for 29 days you give a gift a day. They don’t have to be expensive (or even bought), they can be small and thoughtful, or homemade, or simply a kind word or an unexpected phonecall. The whole point is that you’re giving something to someone else every day. Making someone’s day, every day for 29 days! I love it.

I’m starting tomorrow, the 1st of July 2010, and as an added incentive to do one a day and not cheat and do five in one day (which, let’s be honest, sounds pretty tempting from here), I’m going to take a photo of each gift, or a representation of each gift, and post it right here, on this blog.

Find out more about the idea, here: http://www.29gifts.org/

Join me in my mission by commenting (and committing) below.

Let’s do it!

Your life is like a boat, and you get to decide what kind of waters you sail in – rough and stormy (dramatic) or calm and still (peaceful). You get to choose which companions you want on the journey, and if those companions are going to make your trip easier, or if they’re going to rock the boat. And most importantly, I think, you get to make sure you stay balanced.

I think balance means something different for everyone, and we each have our own specific Balance Challenges. Some battle to keep the depressed-happy balance, others fight for the busy-rest balance, still others need to work out the alone-together balance. Most of us have a bit of all of them in us. For me, I have to be on the alert for the giving out-taking in balance. When I’m full of energy (as I usually am) I can give and give and give, put loads of energy into my work, have enormous amounts of time for my friends, and be overflowing with love, no problem. But I often forget, when I’m in this mode, to refuel. And then I get depleted, and the balance is thrown off, and I’m rocking dangerously in my boat. So balance is key. And a tricky key at that.

Lastly, I think there has to be a compass, something to keep you pointed in the right direction, straight and strong and true. A life’s goal, if you will… For me, it’s to be my best self – who I really am. And it’s so interesting, because it’s only when I lose sight of that compass that I lose my way and throw away my balance. Because when I’m focused on being my best self I make sure to rest and refuel and recharge… I take care of my boat.

If your life was a boat, would you be more careful in it?

Tiny inspirations.

Like a cup of steaming hot tea on a chilly mid-morning, or a pair of really warm socks that make you forget the floor is cold. A line of poetry that seems to hang mid-air, or a quote that encapsulates how you feel just perfectly. A ticked-off To Do List, a paid bill, a sung song.

I think these things are just beautiful. Tiny inspirations. What do you think?

I just wanted to throw an idea at you, and see what you think. It’s about effort vs. intention. Esther Hicks, who I’m rather a fan of (could you guess?) says that why things come to us has less to do with how hard we try, and more to do with how much in alignment our energy is. So, for example, if you really want a new job you obviously have to pitch up to the interview and do your best, but when you go home it would be more valuable to spend some time getting your energy to a good place – feeling happy and inspired and lucky and ready to receive a new job – than it would be calling the secretary every five minutes and hanging up before you say anything!

It’s an interesting idea, I think, because it could have the most extraordinary effects if it turns out to be true… I’m going to experiment with it and let you know how it goes, care to join me?
My experiment involves a long story about how I started applying for my Irish passport renewal in February, but due to me being a dummy and smiling too much in the photos and then having to take and post new photos, and then having them get lost in the mail, I’m now scarily in danger of not getting my passport before I leave for the USA. It takes 4 weeks, I leave in 3 and a half.

Now, apparently sometimes it takes 3 weeks, so there’s hope. And I plan on calling the Irish passport people (in Ireland) today to state my case – my book’s coming out! I need to get there on time! I will make every effort to do as much as I can to get my passport in time. And then I will let go and wait for it to come to me. Because stressing about it and trying to make up things to do to make it arrive won’t work. At all.

I don’t think.

What do you think?

UPDATE: 24 hours later, and I’ve spoken to the charming Irish Embassy people in Dublin (I was stating my sob story for her and she interrupted to ask me what my novel is called and how to spell my name!) All I had to do was supply the South African office with a telephone number, and the passport could be processed. The Irish folks seem to think there’ll be no problem getting it in 3 weeks. *Phew!*

But before I begin my story, let me give you a little backstory. I’ve realised, of late, that I sometimes need a kick up the butt to change my bad habits. Allow me to elaborate…
When I was in my second year of college, I went to the mall to buy a pair of boots that would see me through the snowy winter. Two hours later, I emerged into said snowy winter carrying not one, but two pairs of shoes – neither of them boots / practical / well made. Both of them stylish.

I learnt that winter that sensible, comfortable shoes are an important part of getting through life, and since then I have (painfully) remembered that lesson any time I’ve settled for cheap, stylish shoes. It’s important to have comfortable footwear.

Zoom forward a few years and you’ll see me at the beginning of this summer, searching for a cool, stylish bikini that nobody else will have and that won’t break the bank. What do I find? A gorgeous hot pink and white number, with a cool ace of spades design and a great cut. Only problem is – it’s one size too small. But it was on sale, and I figured swimming in it would stretch it.
I figured wrong. Or, rather, it stretched, but in the wrong places, and I’ve spent the last two or three months in an ill-fitting bikini. Not fun.

What have I learnt from this? That bikinis, like shoes, should be well made and fit right.

So I decided exactly what I wanted from a bikini: I wanted it to be plain black (I’ve never had a black bikini before), well made, and halter neck.
Last night, after I watched the most enchanting movie (more on that later in the week), I felt drawn to look for said elusive bikini, and for some reason I headed straight for Woolworths (for those out of South Africa, Woolworths is a chain store with high-quality, usually expensive, rather dull clothes). I immediately saw the bikini I wanted – halter neck, good quality, reasonable price – but it was in bright orange. No good! And then I saw it… the black bikini rack. But no halter necks… Until! Out of the corner of my eye I spotted it. One halter neck bikini top in black left on the rack… And in my size! With matching bikini bottoms, and little bikini shorts for when I’m doing real exercise.

Best of all? Not only does it fit like a dream, not only is it exactly what I wanted, but it’s well made and exactly the same price as the badly-fitting bikini I’ve been in all summer.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I like to call the Power of Intention. I saw it in my mind’s eye, then I saw it in real life. Now if only I can keep doing this with slightly larger intentions…

The one thing I keep returning to, though, is this idea that if we can just stay present in the present, that if we can just be here right now, without worrying about the past or future, that’s the space where enlightenment (and happiness and peace) can be found.

But crikey moses! It is hard to do. My mind is like a rabbit on speed.

Still, it’s a worthy goal, I think, to keep drawing our busy minds back from wherever they’ve wandered off to. I find that focusing on my senses is the best route to presence, focusing on what I feel or hear or smell or taste. For example, I was in the shower this morning, and my mind was a million miles away – thinking about this and that, planning my day in a lackadaisical way, remembering what I saw on TV last night. And then I caught myself, and brought my attention back to Now. And now was so great! It smelt like raspberries and there was hot water falling on my back and a great view out my window. I was missing out on all of that because I was so wrapped up in my head! Of course, there are times when you need to plan and think ahead, but to do that consciously, to sit down and with all your wits about you to think about the future, is far more powerful than casually letting your mind wander down future paths while you’re in the shower.

So this is my challenge for the moment: to be right here. Now. And now. And now.