Two reasons actually, one lovely and one sad.

First the lovely (because all the pictures relate to it).
Last weekend my man and I had our engagement party. It was wonderful! Such a celebration. We had a garden party at our dear friends’ house, and served all kinds of cake, and mojitos. The sun shone, loads of our friends came (some from Durban!) and my whole family was there (half of them imported from Durban for the weekend). Three dear friends stayed with us over the long weekend, and we ate pizza and picknicked in the forest and laughed. A lot.
The night after the engagement party, the three girls came home, changed into our pyjamas, rented a stupid-funny movie and ate take-out. Fun fun fun.

It was a really wonder-full weekend.

The sadness comes in because at the beginning of the week we found out that the girlfriend of one of my man’s best friends committed suicide. Only now they can’t find a cause of death, so it’s possible it might have been a really severe asthma attack. So so sad. She was only 22, but she was bipolar and had had a really hard year. Still, to have life snatched away (or given away) at such a young age just makes my heart ache. As much for the people who are left behind as for the poor girl herself (I didn’t know her that well, I know him really well). And there’s just nothing you can say, you know? No way to make it better. It’s really just a matter of letting time heal.

So it was an unusual week: so full of happiness and so full of sadness. It’s taken me some time to process all of it.
What I’m left with, though, is this feeling of gratitude for so many things in my life. When I first found out that she had killed herself, I thought, “What about ice cream?” What about sunsets and cups of tea on the verandah and long walks in nature and really funny TV and going to the movies and fresh avo on toast and bear hugs and waking up next to the one you love and long silences and laughing till you cry and the quiet of early morning?

But of course, if you’re severely depressed you’re not thinking of these things. I get that.
But it has made me reassess how much I love in my life. What do you love?

Yip, it’s true, one lucky reader of this here blog will win two tickets to the all-new, all-fabulous Madame Zingara Love Magic Tour!

I’m excited.

For those of you out of the know, Madame Zingara is (and I quote): “the grande dame of burlesque style. A dinner cirque spectacular that enchants and inspires all who pass through her stained glass doors.”
And that’s not all! The food is fabulous too: “…from superbly trained glitter dusted waitrons to the incredible acrobatics one begins to understand there are no boundaries to the night.”
Aaaaand…. “From each ticket sold 5% will again be given to our Non Profit Partners,” so you’re doing good while having fun.

You can find out all about the show at www.madamezingara.com, book tickets at boxoffice@madamezingara.com or 021 001 3366 (tickets start from R300) OR for a chance to win the lucky tickets, all you have to do is leave a comment below, with your definition of magic.

That’s it. What does magic mean to you?

I’ll choose five finalists (to publish here on Friday), and then have a winner chosen by a separate party, anonymously.
Winner announced on Monday the 24th of May 2010, which just so happens to be the first show of the Madame Zingara Love Magic Tour…

Good luck!

What’s interesting, though, is thinking back to how I felt a month ago, and realising how much of what I was worried about didn’t materialise. Isn’t it often that way?

I was hugely excited to go on holiday, but a little apprehensive too, for a number of reasons… It was my first solo trip with diabetes, my first overseas trip with diabetes, my first time crossing time zones with diabetes (are you noticing a trend here??) but also my first time away from my man for 3 weeks, and the first time seeing friends I hadn’t seen in 4 years. Four years! It’s a long time. And I was worried that although I felt like we could pick up where we left off, maybe we couldn’t. Maybe it would be awkward. Maybe I’d get claustrophobic not having any alone time for three weeks straight. Maybe I’d get sick of being sociable.

Maybe maybe maybe.

But none of my worries materialised! How fantastic. My diabetes behaved itself wonderfully – I didn’t have any scary lows, I adjusted to eating (strange) American food with no hassles, and I felt remarkably well the whole time I was there. Seeing my old friends was incredible – honestly, it felt as if I’d just left the room and then come back in and it was 2005 (only we all look better and are less crazy than we were in college!) And I didn’t get claustrophic at all. I took alone time when I needed it, but most of the time I was just happy to be with my friends.

I had forgotten how much I love my US friends… I suppose I’d blocked it out so that I wouldn’t miss them too much. When I think back over the last few weeks, the prevailing word that pops out at me is FUN. It was so much fun! I laughed so much, I really connected with people that I love, I saw new things and had so many adventures. I am ready to travel!

It’s amazing how alive travelling makes you feel. Have you noticed that? Being surrounded by fresh sights and new ideas and different ways of living is so invigorating. One of the greatest gifts this trip has given me is confidence in our round the world trip, later this year. I’m ready: physically, emotionally, and diabetically!

It was also great for Strange Nervous Laughter. I met my editor (and had a lovely lunch with her), I made connections with extremely helpful people, I had two great radio interviews, and I feel like I gave the book a good start in life. Where it goes from here is out of my hands!

So all in all? An extraordinary trip, that far exceeded my expectations!
That said, I’m very happy to be home. And I will be until it’s time to sail off into the sunset again…

(Me in NYC!)

Even now I’m reluctant to sit down in front of a computer when I could be hanging out with my friends. So I’ll do a Highlights Tour:

NEW YORK CITY HIGHLIGHTS:

* My first afternoon in the city happened to be a public holiday – Memorial Day – so my friend Dan took me to a double barbecue, one at Prospect Park (where I saw hundreds of New Yorkers barbecuing, lying in the sun, playing volleyball and throwing frisbees), and one on a rooftop, where I ate a hotdog and my first ever S’More (melted marshmallow, biscuit and chocolate combined – delicious!)

* Met old friends and new for tea, soup, drinks and catch-ups. You’d think after four years it would be awkward to bridge the gap, but so far it isn’t. It’s just fun to see people again.

* Met my publisher for a delightful (swanky!) lunch.

*Ate the famous Magnolia and Sugar Sweet Sunshine cupcakes (Red Velvet flavour, because I’d never had them before). The verdict? Delicious, but I think I can make just as delicious cupcakes (gasp!)

* Walked allll over thc city with my friend Dan, taking ridiculous photos (which you’ll see once I upload them) and talking nonsense for hours on end.

* Ate great Mexican food.

* Went to the People’s Improv Theatre for some really funny improv (starring a friend from college).

I feel like I had a truly New York experience – I saw so much, and so many parts of the city, had a bit of nature time, and LOTS of city time, and walked my feet to the bone. Surely that’s what being a New Yorker is all about??

I then took a magically-internet-enabled bus to Washington DC.

WASHINGTON DC HIGHLIGHTS:

* Spending every available minute with Jen and Julia and laughing till we cry.

* Having a great welcome dinner with them and their significant others – a loud Mediterranean dinner filled with laughter.

* Going on a staff-led tour of the Capitol because Jen has connections in high places. What a cool building!

* Lying on the couch watching TV on her giant television.

* Hanging out, catching up.

* Going shopping in Georgetown ($5 Urban Outfitters sale, be still my beating heart!) and having a girl’s dinner out (more giggling).

* Walking around the very cool Eastern Market on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

* Checking out the monuments from afar, and deciding to go home and make Rice Krispies treats instead.

* Watching rom coms together.

* Late night jacuzzi dip… Turns out there’s one in the building!

* And today – a baseball game! Can’t wait…

I’ll update again soon (well, in less than a week, anyway!) I’ve been totally disconnected from the blogosphere and online communities, and I have to say it feels quite nice… Not so many voices in my head!

So how are YOU doing? Any highlights from the last week?

My first year as a freelance writer, and overall I’d say it’s been a big success. I’m living in an amazing flat with the man I love. I’m doing work I enjoy, and being well-paid for it. My novel is being published in the USA next year. I’ve written a rough draft of a new novel.

And I’ve been searching for, and in many ways attaining, balance.
Between work and play.
Socialising and alone time.
Work for me and work for money.
Exercise and rest.
Food and insulin!

Health was obviously one of my top priorities this year, and now that my first full year as a diabetic is coming to an end, I have to say it’s gone pretty damn well. I feel vital and alive, and full of energy (most of the time). And although having an immunological disorder (sounds hectic, hey?) means that I get sick more often than I used to, overall I think it’s been a glowingly healthy year.

Personally, too, it’s been a great year, and I attribute a lot of that to the practical philosophy courses I’ve taken, and the wisdom they’ve imparted (check under the Philosophy tags to read all about it!) I feel far more centered and balanced than in previous years – like I have tools to help me deal with life in a much calmer way.

Most of all, though, this has been a playful year – full of laughter and fun and dancing and good times…

How has your year been?

I intend to have a week full of inspiring work, inner peace and laughter. I choose for everything to go my way. I look forward to seeing what this week has in store for me!

What about you?

But what happens when you actually have to work? When there’s a pile of work to be done, and nobody to do it but you? Too often, I think, we forget to take time out, and just put our heads down and plough through the work. Very enterprising, yes. But not very good for the soul.

I’ve been working craaazy hard this week (the pile of work was resembling a mountain!) and I noticed, yesterday, that I was feeling irritable and generally out of sorts. Why? Because I hadn’t given anything back – I wasn’t having any fun, or laughing enough, or relaxing at the end of a busy day… I wasn’t dancing or taking delight in all the wonderful things in my life, because I was too bogged down by work.

When I was younger, I was hooked on this series of books by a woman called SARK (visit her website here – www.planetsark.com ). I’ve grown out of a lot of her work, or perhaps grown INTO it, seeing as I don’t need as many reminders to live a passionate life and be creative as I did when I was writing school exams!
But there’s one quote of hers that has stuck with me for at least ten years… it’s about living a juicy life.

“If we rush around, never look closely, and practice self-denial, we will begin to feel dry and cracked for the lack of sweet wild moments that nourish us and those around us. The name for this is living juicy!”

I love that! When’s the last time you indulged in a sweet, wild moment? Are you living juicy?
Food for thought on a busy Thursday in an altogether busy month!

A whole year of writing (almost) every day…

It’s funny, looking back on my first blog post, a year ago, it almost feels like reading someone else’s words. Take a look: http://blog.bridgetmcnulty.com/?p=3

My purpose with the blog was so firmly marketing related. It was supposed to be all about my novel, Strange Nervous Laughter, and about writing and getting it published. But after a while I suppose I strayed into other parts of my life – things I needed to talk about or get clarity on, things I wanted to discuss with a wider circle than my immediate friends. And now this blog feels like a little haven of peace and sanity in my day – a community of like-minded people who all get together (with a cup of tea in hand, in my imagination!) and think about things a little deeper than what’s on TV tonight (although sometimes, I confess, it is about what’s on TV tonight!)

It’s so interesting for me to look back, too, because of how much has happened to me since mid-August last year. Not only my book being published, and the publishing contract in the States, but my diabetes diagnosis, quitting my job, moving in with my man, living the life of my dreams, slowing down, going to Malawi, writing my next novel, the list just goes on and on.

Would I change anything if I had to go back in time? No. I might hint to that younger Bridget that when you slow down you appreciate things more, but who knows if I hadn’t got so sick if I would have made such dramatic changes? I’ve always said that things work out for the best – it’s interesting to have written proof of it, though!

So here’s to another year of blogging… a year that I hope will be filled with inspiration and meaning, realisations and discussions, love and laughter and writing and figuring out what we’re all here for. Thanks for joining me thus far, here’s hoping you stick around for the rest of the ride!