Bridget McNulty

On the brink of a New Year.

// July 3rd, 2009 // No Comments » // Life (and the living of it), travelling

So today is the day before my birthday – a very significant day for me, as some of you might remember from last year (read ‘Tying up loose ends’ to see where I was a year ago). It’s a day to take stock, to see how far I’ve come, to see what kind of a year I’ve had and to look forward to what’s coming next.

This has been by far my most delicious year ever! 26 was a treat, from beginning to end. I moved in with my man, we’ve been living the life of our dreams, we dreamt up this Round-the-World trip, and now we’re going to embark on it! More importantly, though, it’s been the year that I slowed down, that I grew up, that I recognised the importance of stillness and stopped filling my mind with ’shoulds’. I feel so much clearer on who I am and what I want from life now than I ever have before. I feel firmly present.

Which is so great, and necessary, for the year ahead… This is going to be my year of Trusting in the Flow of Life. Not feeling like I have to be in control all the time, and trusting that things will work out as they should. AKA My Year of Learning to Be Easy-Going. It’s working already – I was waaay more chilled on my US trip than I ever have been before. So I think it’ll be a challenging, and deeply satisfying year.

For now, though! We’re off to a night at the very fancy One & Only Hotel in Cape Town, to review it for Just the Planet (check them out at www.justtheplanet.com)

I shall report back on luxury, dinners, breakfasts and birthday pedicures on the other side of 26. Hooray!

PS: Published one day late, having the best birthday EVER!!!

A secret world inside…

// June 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Blogs, Inspiration

I saw this quote on the lovely Cup of Jo blog earlier this week, and just had to share it with you… What do you think?

“Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” – Neil Gaiman

The bend in the road.

// June 24th, 2009 // No Comments » // Inspiration, Life (and the living of it), Prince Edward Island, Writing

I’m still up to my ears in Anne of Green Gables (somehow having seen where she lived makes the books spring to life with the greatest of ease!) and I found a quote I wanted to share with you last night..

Anne is talking about how the path of life is not always straight, how sometimes there’s a bend in the road and try as you might you can’t see past it. I think we like to pretend that we always know exactly where we’re going, but there are definitely times in life where the road has a bend and we just don’t know what will happen next. Here’s what Anne and her dear friend Mrs Allan have to say about it:

They’re talking about Anne going to college, and Mrs Allan says, “Well, I should like to see you go to college, Anne; but if you never do, don’t be discontented about it. We make our own lives wherever we are, after all…. college can only help us to do it more easily. They are broad or narrow according to what we put into them, not what we get out. Life is rich and full here… everywhere… if we can only learn how to open our whole hearts to its richness and fulness.”

“I think I understand what you mean,” said Anne thoughtfully, “and I know I have so much to feel thankful for… oh, so much…”

Isn’t that lovely? To recognise that even if your life isn’t going the way you want it to right now, it’s all about what you put into it. And we all have so much to be grateful for…

Reflections on the last month…

// June 19th, 2009 // No Comments » // Inspiration, Laughter, Life (and the living of it), Strange Nervous Laughter, travelling

A month ago I left home to go to Joburg for a writer’s conference, and then to the USA for 3 weeks… It doesn’t seem possible! It feels like at least 3 months, it’s definitely been one of the busiest months of my life.

What’s interesting, though, is thinking back to how I felt a month ago, and realising how much of what I was worried about didn’t materialise. Isn’t it often that way?

I was hugely excited to go on holiday, but a little apprehensive too, for a number of reasons… It was my first solo trip with diabetes, my first overseas trip with diabetes, my first time crossing time zones with diabetes (are you noticing a trend here??) but also my first time away from my man for 3 weeks, and the first time seeing friends I hadn’t seen in 4 years. Four years! It’s a long time. And I was worried that although I felt like we could pick up where we left off, maybe we couldn’t. Maybe it would be awkward. Maybe I’d get claustrophobic not having any alone time for three weeks straight. Maybe I’d get sick of being sociable.

Maybe maybe maybe.

But none of my worries materialised! How fantastic. My diabetes behaved itself wonderfully – I didn’t have any scary lows, I adjusted to eating (strange) American food with no hassles, and I felt remarkably well the whole time I was there. Seeing my old friends was incredible – honestly, it felt as if I’d just left the room and then come back in and it was 2005 (only we all look better and are less crazy than we were in college!) And I didn’t get claustrophic at all. I took alone time when I needed it, but most of the time I was just happy to be with my friends.

I had forgotten how much I love my US friends… I suppose I’d blocked it out so that I wouldn’t miss them too much. When I think back over the last few weeks, the prevailing word that pops out at me is FUN. It was so much fun! I laughed so much, I really connected with people that I love, I saw new things and had so many adventures. I am ready to travel!

It’s amazing how alive travelling makes you feel. Have you noticed that? Being surrounded by fresh sights and new ideas and different ways of living is so invigorating. One of the greatest gifts this trip has given me is confidence in our round the world trip, later this year. I’m ready: physically, emotionally, and diabetically!

It was also great for Strange Nervous Laughter. I met my editor (and had a lovely lunch with her), I made connections with extremely helpful people, I had two great radio interviews, and I feel like I gave the book a good start in life. Where it goes from here is out of my hands!

So all in all? An extraordinary trip, that far exceeded my expectations!
That said, I’m very happy to be home. And I will be until it’s time to sail off into the sunset again…

(Me in NYC!)

The Blog Tour continues!

// May 12th, 2009 // No Comments » // Blogs, Links, Reviews, Strange Nervous Laughter, Writing, book launch

Yip, today I’ve trotted over to Book Patrol, a haven for book culture, on the second stop of my Blog Tour. Check it out at http://www.bookpatrol.net/ where you’ll find out all about capturing the essence of Durban in Strange Nervous Laughter.

Book Patrol is a fabulous site for anyone interested in books and bookish things… why not make yourself a cup of tea and settle in for some quality reading?

As if the Powers That Be on the Internet knew that today was the day my book officially hits bookshelves in the USA (or virtual bookshelves on Amazon.com – check it out!) Strange Nervous Laughter is also making guest appearances in a couple of other places today…

* The Portfolio Travel Blog has written a fabulous book review on Strange Nervous Laughter, all about how it’s a good idea to judge books by their covers (I love it!)

* The Seattle Post-Intelligencer has featured Book Patrol’s article on Strange Nervous Laughter (yes, you read right, the Post-Intelligencer online newspaper!)

* The Arizona Central website has listed Strange Nervous Laughter as one of their Fiction Books to help turn pages of Summer 2009. Great stuff!

Aaaand next month I’m going to be appearing on this lovely blog, in France! http://lafeecoriandre.blogspot.com/

YAY! What a lovely way to celebrate…

Tiny inspirations.

// May 5th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Cape Town, Inspiration, Life (and the living of it)

Sometimes, I think, it’s not about the grand inspirations – those things that keep us going, the dreams that fuel our everydays. Those are necessary, sure, but sometimes I think it’s all about the tiny inspirations…
I went for a walk this morning, early, and it was all misty and still, and there were dogs frolicking in the dew of the park, and squirrels scurrying around the trees. The mountain was covered in cloud, and the air felt really still and peaceful.

Tiny inspirations.

Like a cup of steaming hot tea on a chilly mid-morning, or a pair of really warm socks that make you forget the floor is cold. A line of poetry that seems to hang mid-air, or a quote that encapsulates how you feel just perfectly. A ticked-off To Do List, a paid bill, a sung song.

I think these things are just beautiful. Tiny inspirations. What do you think?

A restaurant with a difference…

// April 20th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Cape Town, Life (and the living of it)

… Not a restaurant with a view, but one with a whole lot of charm.

Yesterday my man and I went for lunch with two dear friends at Sibanye Restaurant in Imizamo Yethu, the township just outside Hout Bay. I was a little reluctant, not to go for lunch in the township, but because I thought it would be very touristy – Sibanye is specifically aimed at tourists.

I was (very) pleasantly surprised. The restaurant is in a shack quite close to the entrance of Imizamo Yethu, and although we attracted a few stares when we walked in, we were pretty much treated like locals for the rest of the time. Inside the brightly painted shack there are mismatched tables and chairs and some very popular arcade games. The lunch is a 3 course meal (for only R60 – a steal!) and it was absolutely delicious. Starters were small vetkoek-type pastries stuffed with delicious mince and served with a tomato salsa-type sauce. Mains were beef or chicken with samp and beans, cabbage, more tomato mix, pumpkin and delicious potatoes, and dessert was tea or coffee with freshly made koeksisters. Delicious!

Sibanye was started by a team of two – Randy Mcknight and Nathan Roberts – and they’ve got the place running as smoothly as you could wish. They even hooked up a pair of teenage gumboot dancerts to provide midmeal entertainment, a real treat! It’s aimed at tourists, local and international, and seems to be a more chilled alternative to Mzoli’s Place in Gugulethu. Bear in mind, though, that you do have to book 24 hours ahead, and it’s only open Friday, Saturday and Sunday lunch.

In the mood for an unconventional Sunday lunch? Check out Sibanye, you won’t be disappointed.

What helps you go downstream?

// April 1st, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Decisions, Inspiration, Life (and the living of it)

I’ve been considering, lately, this idea of going upstream versus downstream.

It’s not a new idea, but I recently watched an amazing DVD by the very inspiring Esther Hicks which gave it a new angle… From her perspective, going downstream isn’t being passive and letting life take you wherever it wants (which I don’t like), but consciously moving in the direction of what feels right and intuitively good (which I do like).

Sometimes, of course, we have to do things we don’t want to do, but there’s a way of doing it upstream (whining, complaining, dragging your feet) and a way of doing it downstream (accepting that it needs to be done and trying to see the up-side hidden in it). Easier said than done, it’s true! Complaining can be such fun. But everything we want is downstream, and if we can just stop paddling in the opposite direction to what it is we want, we’ll feel a lot more relief, a lot more joy, and a lot less angst. Or, in her words, “As long as you’re turned in opposition to what you want, you’re not going to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be.”

This doesn’t mean that if you stop harping on about what you don’t like or what frustrates you, you’ll instantly turn in the opposite direction, of course. It’s not a quick-fix angst-to-joy solution. But it is a route to feeling better, and the key is to be on the lookout for that moment of relief, when you can feel your ‘boat’ turning from battling upstream to flowing downstream.

Practically, what does this mean? Well, take yesterday, for example. Our internet was bust and I had a whole day of online book marketing work to do (i.e. work that required the internet!) My man was grumpy because he had too much work to do. And our toilet wouldn’t stop leaking. Never mind the insistent drill in the background. I could feel myself getting steadily more and more agitated, and starting to tell myself stories in my head (you know, the “Why does it all happen at the same time? It never rains but it pours!” story. It’s a popular one!)
And then I thought, wait! I’m going upstream! I have to find a way to go downstream. So I did a 15 minute guided meditation (that my best friend gave me and that I absolutely love). Then I lay in my hammock and listened to one of my favourite Sigur Ros tracks, a perfect blend of soothing and inspiring. And then I put on some loud sing-along songs (Belle and Sebastian works like a charm) and danced around the flat for a few minutes.

And what do you know? New perspective! No problem.

So I’m curious… When you find yourself going upstream (feeling irritated / angry / frustrated / anxious) what helps you go downstream?

Don’t sell your happiness…

// March 30th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Decisions, Life (and the living of it), Philosophy

… for a bag of chips.

We had the most wonderful Practical Philosophy class last week – the final in our 5 week Happiness course. There have been a number of gems in the class, and I’ll be writing about them in weeks to come, as I process them and start practising them in every day life… but one idea really stuck out for me.

We were listening to a speaker and he said to us, “If I offered you a hundred rand, or a thousand rand, or even ten thousand rand for your happiness, you’d laugh at me, wouldn’t you?” Think about it – your present and future happiness, for a lump sum? Not a good deal. “But look at the way you’re living your life,” he says. And then proceeds to explain how we sell our happiness every day, and for a lot less than a thousand rand. If our breakfast is cooked badly, if the garage door won’t open, if someone says something unkind to us, if the weather is bad, if there’s a drill going on in the background – we sell our happiness for all these things, every day.

It really got me thinking. Because there are times when I’ll get thrown off by the smallest thing without even thinking about it, and it’s only hours later that it will occur to me that this whole mood started from something tiny and insignificant. I’ve caught myself literally selling my happiness for a bag of chips (they don’t make me feel well, yet every so often my will power crumbles and I eat them. And then I feel bad about it. So bloody stupid! But human, I suppose).

Yes, yes, that’s all very well, I hear you say, but what can we do about it? Let go. Let go of all the little things that bug you, and don’t pick them up again. It is faar easier said than done, but it’s possible. On a day to day, moment to moment, irritation to irritation level. What do you think?

Don’t sell your happiness. There’s no price tag that could be worth it.

Mmm… crisps.

Serendipitous inspiration…

// November 12th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Inspiration, Life (and the living of it), Philosophy, Writing

So I was looking through an old notebook the other day, when this photocopied page fell out. No title, no author, no page number, even, just a page of writing that happens to be deeply inspiring… It’s pretty long, so make yourself a cup of tea and settle in for a read. And let me know if you have any idea who the author is (please)!

“… We shun and reject anything unpleasant. But in fleeing from these experiences, instead of accepting them as a part of our life, we have unconsciously rejected life. We bleed and suffer needlessly over the most inconsequential details. We fail to realise, as a friend of mine likes to say, that ‘Life is a package deal.’ You don’t get to pick and choose. You don’t get to say I like this but I don’t like that. It’s a package. Take it or leave it. Even failure, sickness and misfortune play their part in the grand scheme of a life unfolding.

Accepting life in its entirety and taking time to appreciate the diversity and richness of it opens our eyes to many things we’ve taken for granted. The present moment, for example, is always alive and filled with infinite treasures. It contains far more than we are capable of receiving. See the clouds, the trees, the birds, children playing, the colours all around. The flower blooms, the insect hums, the ant crawls, night follows day – see the moon and stars. There is more beauty and joy in each day than we can ever fully appreciate.

Yet we continue to live our lives focused on future destinations – when the mortgage is paid; when my obligations are fulfilled; when I’m rich; when I meet that special someone; when things are different. Yes, all that will be fine, but what about today? What about this very moment?

There is a Zen practice called ‘drinking deeply’ that involves breaking through the restrictions of a busy mind to fully appreciate everything for what it is. When you’re eating, you experience eating fully – the taste, the colour, the texture of the food. When you’re in the garden, everything becomes special: the flowers, the sky, the air, the hum of the insects, the feel of the earth below your feet. Nothing else is needed. Everything just is. And you are there, noticing and appreciating. It takes practice, but we too can learn to do this in our own way, with our families, at our job, in our busy life. We can take the time to do it.”

Isn’t that just lovely? And there’s more! To be continued… tomorrow.