As I mentioned yesterday, I have been B.U.S.Y lately… I’m not 100% sure why, but all of a sudden my man and I have been deluged with invitations and work has been reallllly busy too. So I’ve had very little time to myself, I’ve been rushing around too much (I hate rushing) and in general I’ve felt like my plate is full to overflowing.

So today I decided to give myself the gift of stillness. I left work on time and went for a 2 hour reiki session with an amazing healer. It was so wonderful to be able to lie down and soak up good energy. For anyone who hasn’t tried reiki, give it a go! It can be completely transformative. I went in feeling tired, rushed, a little worried and snotty. I left feeling pretty close to wonderful!

So I’ve finally started reading the 29 Gifts book, by Cami Walker, the woman who started this movement. It’s a lovely book, all about how an emphasis on what she could give others let her energy shift from focusing on her debilitating condition (MS) to being able to regain some sense of control over her life. Wonderful stuff!

Anyhoo, one of the things she says about the giving challenge is that you have to give something that you feel is scarce in your life right now. I thought about it, and I think the thing that feels most scarce to me is time. We’ve had a craaazy busy week or two, and free time feels like a precious gift.

So I gave some of it to my sister-in-law, who’s in the market for some company this week while my brother is overseas. And when I left I felt so much more filled up than if I’d just hung out at home for an hour. Goes to show, hmm?

… For the cutest girl in the world. Seriously, my neice just keeps getting cuter and more fun and cleverer and prettier and and and. I’m a bit of a doting aunt, can you tell?

So when I saw this Hello Kitty sand set I had to get it for her. She loves the beach (in summer), and kids love doing useful things like scooping up dirt. I gave it to her yesterday and we played with it in the garden… So in some ways I got a gift, too – spending time with her is always such a treat.

July is Birthday Month for me – not only my birthday, but my mom’s and many of my dear friends.

So this month, instead of quickly picking up a prezzie at the last minute (which I don’t realllly do, but occassionally have been guilty of) I really spent time choosing gifts that I know my loved ones will love. Because there’s nothing better than a well-chosen birthday present, is there? Nothing makes me feel more special.

Is there any feeling as delicious as that of slipping on a pair of new pyjamas? Especially if you’ve just got out the shower and you’re about to get into a warm bed? I don’t think so.

My man, believe it or not, has never worn pyjamas, and much as t-shirts and shorts are handy, they don’t do what a pair of crisp cotton jammies will for a good night’s sleep. So yesterday, while out on a bit of a shopping spree for myself (more on that later), I decided to buy him a pair of pyjamas. Delicious.

So I realised yesterday that even though I’m halfway through this challenge, I haven’t given anything to my man yet… Or my family, actually. I think sometimes when people are very close to you it’s easy to take them for granted a bit.

So I decided, today, to rectify that. My language of love is gifts (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, check this out – I’ve spoken about the 5 love languages before) which is why this challenge appealed to me so much. But my man’s language of love is affection… I often think it’s an easier language to have, because when someone loves you they’ll obviously be affectionate. When you open your arms for a hug, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get one.

But just as a gift doesn’t mean as much when you have to ask for it, affection doesn’t mean as much when you have to ask for it either. So yesterday evening I made a conscious effort to be as affectionate as possible – to step out of my circle of ‘this is me on a Friday night, watching a DVD, eating (yummy) naan bread’ and give him extra hugs and kisses. And don’t you know, he was in the best mood by the end of the evening.

I think it’s something I’m going to do more.

PS: Had to improvise a little with the picture, but these toys are on his desk and they kind of look like they’re hugging, don’t they?

But I was thinking, yesterday, that there’s one area of my relationships where I haven’t said how I feel – my future parents-in-law. I suppose because we got to know each other quite slowly, and I was (naturally) a bit reserved when I first met them. But I’ve grown to really love them, and I so appreciate all the delicious meals and incredible gifts (like my recent vintage crockery set!) and support they’ve given us over the years.

So today I wrote them a (very cool and sparkly) card saying just that.

Two reasons actually, one lovely and one sad.

First the lovely (because all the pictures relate to it).
Last weekend my man and I had our engagement party. It was wonderful! Such a celebration. We had a garden party at our dear friends’ house, and served all kinds of cake, and mojitos. The sun shone, loads of our friends came (some from Durban!) and my whole family was there (half of them imported from Durban for the weekend). Three dear friends stayed with us over the long weekend, and we ate pizza and picknicked in the forest and laughed. A lot.
The night after the engagement party, the three girls came home, changed into our pyjamas, rented a stupid-funny movie and ate take-out. Fun fun fun.

It was a really wonder-full weekend.

The sadness comes in because at the beginning of the week we found out that the girlfriend of one of my man’s best friends committed suicide. Only now they can’t find a cause of death, so it’s possible it might have been a really severe asthma attack. So so sad. She was only 22, but she was bipolar and had had a really hard year. Still, to have life snatched away (or given away) at such a young age just makes my heart ache. As much for the people who are left behind as for the poor girl herself (I didn’t know her that well, I know him really well). And there’s just nothing you can say, you know? No way to make it better. It’s really just a matter of letting time heal.

So it was an unusual week: so full of happiness and so full of sadness. It’s taken me some time to process all of it.
What I’m left with, though, is this feeling of gratitude for so many things in my life. When I first found out that she had killed herself, I thought, “What about ice cream?” What about sunsets and cups of tea on the verandah and long walks in nature and really funny TV and going to the movies and fresh avo on toast and bear hugs and waking up next to the one you love and long silences and laughing till you cry and the quiet of early morning?

But of course, if you’re severely depressed you’re not thinking of these things. I get that.
But it has made me reassess how much I love in my life. What do you love?

How about heading over to FLOW (For Love of Water) and making the FLOW Promise:

It couldn’t be easier – just click through to http://forloveofwater.co.za/promise/ and write your name, make the promise and tell others how you’re acting for your love of water (there are no wrong answers, I promise).

Our bodies are over 70% water. Maybe it’s time we started thinking about that…

What do you think?

So here’s how it happened…

Yesterday around 6pm Mark told me he had a surprise for me, and that I had to meet him on the beach in half an hour… We’ve been staying in a charming little fishing village called Amed, on the North coast of Bali (in Indonesia) for the last five nights, and we’ve loved every second of it. Not at all touristy (unlike the rest of Bali), fantastic scuba diving, incredible snorkelling, and superb grilled prawns and Indonesian delicacies eaten right on the beach. Divine.

So I head down to the beach and there’s a part of me that’s thinking, ‘Is he about to propose?’ because it was all so mysterious. But I had a feeling he might propose on Christmas Day and he didn’t, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

I walk to the restaurant where he said he’d meet me, and what do I see? No Mark. But the waitress was all clued up, handed me two fresh mango juices (our favourite, unbelievably sweet and fresh and yummy) and told me to wait a few minutes.

Less than two minutes later, I see Mark heading towards shore on a local fisherman’s boat. Looked something like this:

I climb on board and off we go, on a ’sunset cruise’, he tells me. So we’re sitting out there soaking up the view (a volcano, an island fringed with palm trees, an endless horizon in the other direction, the clouds streaked pink with sunset just around the corner, a half moon starting to rise) and sipping our mango juice.

Dusk is my favourite time of day, the ocean is my favourite place to be, I have a thing about endless horizons. And Mark’s all fidgety and looks nervous, so of course I’m wondering what’s up. Then he pulls out a dozen candles and lights them and I start to feel like I know what’s coming up…

After many more minutes of a really magical slice of my life, Mark turns to me and says, “Will you marry me?”
I was so happy I couldn’t even speak – crying and laughing at the same time, honestly it’s the best feeling in the world! But of course I said yes.

And then he gave me my ring – a bamboo ring he’d found in Thailand (and been carrying around for the last four months!) with strips of silver that he’d had a local silversmith in Gili Air (the island we were on last week) put in. I love it! It’s just perfect – I told him once that I wanted a ring I could swim in the sea with. It’s so me.

And now we’re ENGAGED!!! And we are both on Cloud Nine. It’s a lovely place to be.