Isn’t it funny how life throws the same situation at you time and time again until you finally get it?
I was desperately sick on Sunday. A nasty, vicious, vile, rotten (are you getting the picture here?) stomach bug that had me calling for my man to end my pain and kill me, because I was sure I’d never feel normal again.

Okay, so I tend to be a drama queen when I’m sick, but I did feel really awful. Exhausted and weak and sick to the tips of my toes. I had a shower and had to have a lie-down. Finally swallowed a piece of toast at 2pm, and had to nap for 2 hours to get over the exertion.

But what it made me realize – when I woke up on Monday morning feeling 100% and full of energy – was how much I take my energy and good health for granted. And what makes this more poignant is that when I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2007, and had to spend weeks recovering and slowly, gradually, getting my energy back, I swore never to take good health for granted again.

It’s a good reminder, I think. How are you feeling today? Are you grateful for the energy that lets you jog up a flight of stairs or run to answer the phone? I am. I really, really am.

Photo: Jake Putnam

The ducks in the reservoir have been quacking all morning, but other than that there’s very little to disturb the peace… Dramatically different from this time yesterday!

I woke up yesterday morning with a nasty migraine, and as luck would have it, our neighbours decided to have their windows installed at the same time, resulting in a few hours of non-stop drilling. Ouch. Yesterday was a hard day. I don’t often have hard days – I kind of float through days like honey, with things pretty much going my way all the time. But yesterday felt tough – the migraine, and then the hangover from the migraine which left me feeling washed out and sore. Then we went out to a friend’s farewell last night and I bowed out early ’cause I was feeling crook, and they ended up going to a karaoke bar! Woe is me. I missed out on karaoke! (This is not a sarcastic comment). And then I couldn’t sleep… for hours and hours and hours. I was so so tired, and I just couldn’t sleep. Seriously, how do insomniacs not go insane? I felt insane after only a few hours of it.

On paper, it doesn’t look like such a tough day. But I’ve been working so hard and being so on top of things and trying to pace myself so I don’t collapse from ten million things in my head, and yesterday it felt like they were all pressing down on me. I feel heavy…

What’s my antidote? Many cups of tea. Smarties. A slow day, filled with things that need doing but don’t require too much energy (and will give me a whole plateful of satisfaction once they’re done). And then going away to the beautiful Pringle Bay tomorrow, to rest and regain my energy.

How are you doing today?

The only problem with starting a new exciting exercise regime is that my blood sugar doesn’t necessarily agree with it. And by that I mean my blood sugar doesn’t like it at all. One little bit.

That’s always been another reason for the mild-exercise-excuse of walking: I know exactly how it affects my diabetes. It doesn’t wake me up at 2am with low blood sugar, and again at 7am, and leave me feeling like I’m walking around with a heavy, aching head simultaneously filled with cotton wool and nails. Yup. That’s what it feels like now.

There are few things I really hate about diabetes. I don’t mind the injections, or the testing, I don’t even mind the dietary restrictions, most of the time, because I’m able to eat a healthier diet, and it keeps me on track. But there is one thing that I hate, hate hate hate hate hate, and that is waking up low.

You’ll be fast asleep, snoring away happily, when suddenly you wake up, totally alert but completely disorientated, with your heart pounding and a funny lightheaded feeling. You drag yourself through to somewhere with light, prick your finger, test your blood and see that it’s low. And then you have to make a decision – generally at 2am in the morning, when you’re still mostly asleep but feeling rotten – about what to eat. And then this intense sugar craving kicks in, so that even when you drink sweet fruit juice you don’t quite feel satisfied. And then, once you’ve had your rationed amount of sugar, you drag yourself back to bed and lie down, heart still pounding, alternately going hot and cold, until your heart finally slows, your blood sugar rises, and you can go to sleep again.

Only to wake up feeling unrefreshed and like a car ran over your head during the night.

Logically, I know, it’s pretty remarkable that my body can wake me up when my blood sugar goes too low, and I’m very grateful for that. But I am not grateful for the feeling I have today, of being useless, and tired, and over-emotional, and 100% diabetic.

And that’s my diabetes rant for the next few months, I promise!

UPDATE: It’s the next day, now, and I’ve woken up feeling fantastic – full of energy, clear head and all-round well. Interesting, too, that after some in-depth research it looks like it wasn’t the exercise to blame for the night-time lows at all! We had a three day heat wave from hell here in Cape Town last week, and I was out and about a lot. Insulin isn’t supposed to get hotter than 30 degrees Celsius, but it was definitely over 35 for a couple of days there… So the too-hot insulin’s potency is reduced, resulting in less effective control from low blood sugar. FASCINATING!

Who said diabetes wasn’t an interesting condition?

So all in all, very little sleep. Which translates to a fuzzy head and no energy.

How do people with insomnia cope? I have one bad night and I nearly forget my name. How do they consistently cope with little to no sleep? I would be a dragon queen.

There are few things in this life I enjoy as much as curling up in fresh sheets, my head buried in a pillow, and drifting off to sleep… Mmmm…
I’m excited about going to bed tonight already!

I wasn’t full of energy like I usually am, and the last half of the week was dogged with a persistent mild headache and achey eyes. What from? I think I was fighting off a virus – it was a general tired malaise, with the headache thrown in for good measure.

It’s the one thing about diabetes that really bugs me (apart from the four injections every day!) – my weakened immune system. Diabetes (type 1) is an immunological disorder, which means that my immune system isn’t as strong as it used to be. And it used to be so strong! I could bounce back from anything within a day or two. Now I still bounce back, but it takes me a couple of days. I feel fantastic today, but it’s the first time since… Thursday? Too long!

So I’ve decided to Take Action. I’m going to strengthen my immune system. Want to join me?
Here’s the advice I’ve found, feel free to throw in any other tips you might have!

* Eat a varied diet with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains and a multivitamin to fill in the gaps. (I’m doing this, especially the fruit, although maybe not the variety of veggies I should…)

* Sleep the right amount of hours every night. (I’m definitely doing this, I’m a great sleeper).

* Exercise often, don’t eat excessive sugar, wash hands regularly (?!) and don’t overdo alcohol. (Yes, yes, yes and yes).

But then I found some more specific advice:

* Drink your lemons. Apparently drinking freshly squeezed lemon juice in water or tea helps to keep your body’s pH balance stable. Sounds good!

* Drink enough water. Easy to forget to do during a busy day!

* Cut down on caffeine. Ouch. Jury’s still out on whether tea is as bad as coffee, but if it is I’m in trouble. I am totally addicted to tea. And not at all sure how to cut down, because I hate herbal teas!

So those are my three challenges for the moment – drink more water, with more lemon juice, and cut down on tea… Maybe I’ll just cut down on the size of my teacups… From a bucket to a small mug.

Have you got any other tips for me?

And much as I know the grumps are caused by a resistance to the work at hand, and that if I could change my attitude it would all be much easier, it doesn’t seem to help.

I. am. tired. of. working.

It’s been a long year. Seems to be everyone’s chant at the moment, doesn’t it?
I’ll report back when I’m on the other side of this cement mountain.

In the meantime, check out 1000 Tiny Things I Hate (http://tinythingsihate.blogspot.com/) – one of the only things that can make me laugh when I’ve got the grumps!

Like today.

I woke up at 2am last night with low blood sugar (or hypoglycemia, to those in the know). How can I describe how awful this feels? It’s 2am, so you’re all groggy, and you wake up with a pounding heart… At first you’re not sure if you’re going to be sick or if it’s a low or if it’s a nightmare that’s made your heart beat so fast. After a few minutes, you get it together enough to test your blood, and then get up to go to the kitchen and eat something to correct the low.

Now, midnight snacking is all fun and games when it’s a game… with friends… and you’re hungry… and feel like eating. But when you’re feeling low – fuzzy head, disconnected, slightly headachey, still that horrible fast heartbeat – it’s no fun. No fun at all.

This is only the second night-time low I’ve ever had, the first was when I was in Malawi learning to scuba dive. All the info I can find says it’s usually to do with exercise the day before (i.e. yesterday) and it’s true my man and I went for a bit of a hike, but I didn’t think it was too extreme… Can you believe exercise can affect your blood sugar for up to 24 hours after you’ve done it? Crazy.

So now today I feel a bit hung-over, and more prone to going low than usual. And much as some days I love the freedom of being able to eat more sugary foods (which I can do when I’m low), I also love the joy of eating well, and feeling healthy.

If diabetes has taught me anything, though, it’s to listen to my body. So instead of pushing through this feeling, I’m going about my day in a calm and peaceful way, chipping away at the mountain of work I have to do, drinking lots of tea, and quietly grateful for all the other days I have, the days when I feel wonderful.