Bridget McNulty

Effort vs. intention…

// April 29th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Decisions, Life (and the living of it), Time, book launch

I’ll have to be brief this morning, because I’ve got a day of nonstop Things To Do, many of them rather lovely (if you’re in South Africa, tune into SAfm at 1.30pm for an interview I’m taking part in on blogging… should be fun!)

I just wanted to throw an idea at you, and see what you think. It’s about effort vs. intention. Esther Hicks, who I’m rather a fan of (could you guess?) says that why things come to us has less to do with how hard we try, and more to do with how much in alignment our energy is. So, for example, if you really want a new job you obviously have to pitch up to the interview and do your best, but when you go home it would be more valuable to spend some time getting your energy to a good place – feeling happy and inspired and lucky and ready to receive a new job – than it would be calling the secretary every five minutes and hanging up before you say anything!

It’s an interesting idea, I think, because it could have the most extraordinary effects if it turns out to be true… I’m going to experiment with it and let you know how it goes, care to join me?
My experiment involves a long story about how I started applying for my Irish passport renewal in February, but due to me being a dummy and smiling too much in the photos and then having to take and post new photos, and then having them get lost in the mail, I’m now scarily in danger of not getting my passport before I leave for the USA. It takes 4 weeks, I leave in 3 and a half.

Now, apparently sometimes it takes 3 weeks, so there’s hope. And I plan on calling the Irish passport people (in Ireland) today to state my case – my book’s coming out! I need to get there on time! I will make every effort to do as much as I can to get my passport in time. And then I will let go and wait for it to come to me. Because stressing about it and trying to make up things to do to make it arrive won’t work. At all.

I don’t think.

What do you think?

UPDATE: 24 hours later, and I’ve spoken to the charming Irish Embassy people in Dublin (I was stating my sob story for her and she interrupted to ask me what my novel is called and how to spell my name!) All I had to do was supply the South African office with a telephone number, and the passport could be processed. The Irish folks seem to think there’ll be no problem getting it in 3 weeks. *Phew!*

So how was your long weekend?

// April 28th, 2009 // No Comments » // Life (and the living of it), Time

For those of you not in South Africa, we’re in the midst of a whole month full of long weekends…. In fact, this week is slap bang in the middle of two long weekends, giving us a 3 day weekend, a 3 day workweek, and a 3 day weekend. Lovely!

Only… I have so. much. to. do.

I was reflecting, last week, on what serendipitous timing it was that this month I have desperately needed long weekends to recuperate from the busy-ness of the week, and that it’s a month full of these zen spaced-out weekends. But then I realised that the reason I need the weekends so badly is that I’m cramming a full week’s worth of work into 3 or 4 days. And that extra day is all the time I usually take off – time in my hammock, catching my breath, doing a meditation, watching movies, going for walks. So essentially, all these long weekends have taken the pockets of breathing space out of my days, and made them exhaustingly busy! Nobody’s fault but my own, of course, but I do miss my more laidback pace…

I’m sure it will be back soon. Most of the busy-ness at the moment is planning for our round the world trip, and trying to sort out sponsorship for it. Oh yes, did I mention? We’re getting sponsored to go around the world… More on that when it’s in the bag!
It seems like my man and I are running all week to fit in normal work and trip planning stuff, and then we get to the weekend and we indulge in luxurious nothingness – watching DVDs, eating really good food, sleeping 10 hours a night, drinking countless cups of tea, reading, and catching our breath. So I suppose my pockets of breathing space have been crammed into the weekends. Not much to complain about, then!

What about you? How was your long weekend?

The Shopping List of my mind:

// April 23rd, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Life (and the living of it), Time

Sometimes my mind feels like a shopping list. Of a person who hasn’t shopped in a really long time… Do you know what I mean? Thoughts are on there that are urgent and really need to be bought (or thought, ha!), others kind of slipped in there by mistake, and others would really be better off if they were dealt with one at a time. In a quiet boutique environment.

But here they are anyway…. Are you ready for it? Welcome to the shopping paradise of my mind!

1. That was a really yummy lunch.
2. I have so much to do.
3. Why won’t iTunes let me submit my podcast, just cause I’m in South Africa?
4. I hope everyone in SA voted yesterday.
5. It is alarming how quickly winter arrived in Cape Town.
6. I’m worried about a friend who broke up with her boyfriend yesterday.
7. I’m anxious/excited for a friend who’s reuniting with her boyfriend today.
8. Thank goodness it’s a long weekend!
9. I really need to get some work-work done.
10. I really need to clarify our round the world budget.
11. I really need to make those changes to the Fresh Living article I submitted.
12. I wonder what’s for dinner?
13. I must pay my phone bill today.
14. I wonder if the I love the Labia stuff can wait till Monday?
15. Monday is a public holiday! Yay!
16. I have never needed public holidays as much as I have this month.
17. Pretty convenient that this is a month full of South African public holidays!
18. I’m going to the States in less than a month!
19. I have so much to do before then!!
20. When did I get so busy?
21. I can’t wait to chat to the Just the Planet people at 6pm tonight…
22. There’s some potentially amazing stuff in the pipeline for our trip.
23. Our flat smells like cheese on toast. Yum!
24. It’s my brother and sister-in-law’s 3rd wedding anniversary. Amazing.
25. I really need to write and reply to some emails.
26. Thunder in the middle of the day is so cool…

So there you have it! I’m 26 years old, and I have 26 thoughts buzzing around my head. Consider this a challenge, to write down the shopping list of your mind, and see if you can reach your age in numbers!

This too shall pass…

// April 9th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Inspiration, Life (and the living of it), Time

Probably one of my favourite lessons from Eckhart Tolle.

I’ve heard the phrase before, but always associated it with times of tragedy or sadness. When you’re feeling down in the dumps, remember that ‘this too shall pass’ and it makes the hard times easier to bear.

What I hadn’t ever considered, though, was that it’s also a helpful phrase when things are going well. Whenever you’re feeling happy or delighted about something, remember that ‘this too will pass’.

It might appear, at first, to take the air out of your balloons, but what he says is that if you don’t accept that everything is transient, there’s this sense of fear that surrounds anything that happens. Even as you’re enjoying whatever is going your way, you worry about when it will disappear. If you remember that everything that happens will pass, you take the fear out of it and open yourself up to the possibility of being firmly in this present moment.

What do you think? A wise way to approach life? I think so…

A far-reaching perspective.

// February 19th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Decisions, Inspiration, Life (and the living of it)

I think I might finally be growing up.

One of the challenges I’ve always battled with is to see the far-reaching perspective when something happens. To see that in the grand scheme of things it might make sense for this to happen now, or not happen now, as the case may be. That even though certain things seem like the right choice, if they don’t pan out it’s because in the zoomed-out view that makes sense. The same way that sometimes you have to zoom out a camera to see the full picture.

I usually tend to think I know exactly what should happen, and if it doesn’t turn out the way I planned then I am not. a. pleased. young. lady.

But I’m learning! Slowly slowly catch a monkey. I’ve been opening a lot of doors lately, testing out new opportunities and saying ‘yes!’ to all the things that come my way. It feels really exhilarating and kind of curious – who knows which ones are going to develop into something, and which ones are going to fall by the wayside? Some of the doors open into fascinating rooms, and some seem to slam shut on the wind. Yesterday one of them slammed shut, and instead of feeling disappointed and upset about it, I just felt, “Oh. Okay. Well, if that didn’t work out, something else will. Perhaps it wasn’t the right time for this, for whatever reason. Not a big deal.”

And it wasn’t just me telling myself to feel this! I actually did. How freaking exciting.
I have to attribute some of this new calm to old Eckhart Tolle, though, and his ‘This too will pass’ mantra. I had it engraved on a ring, so that any time something happens I recognise that it is transient, that from a far-reaching perspective it might look totally different. (Is it possible that I haven’t blogged about ‘this too will pass’? Don’t worry, I will!)

Exciting stuff, this!

Inspiration injection –

// January 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Inspiration

Another one from Esther and Jerry Hicks, at www.abraham-hicks.com. I love this:

“How do you ever get the truth to be more the way you want it to be? You’ve just got to start beating the drums of truth the way you want it to be—and when you do, you will immediately feel good. And there are those who might say, “Oh, you’re not facing the fact.” And we say, we would never face any fact that was taking us to a place we don’t want to be.

There are those who believe that the world is getting more and more desperate. We are here to tell you that the world is getting better and better, and better, and that every experience you have causes you to launch rockets of desires, and Source comes in response to those rockets. And the best thing about your birth and death is that the resistant ones die and the allowing ones are born. And with this combination of contrast that keeps you launching new and new desires, it’s no wonder that the Universe is expanding in this marvelous way and that life is getting better, in every day—and in this moment—for everyone who insists on focusing there.”

Sacred Sloth.

// January 19th, 2009 // No Comments » // Life (and the living of it), Time

I’ve come up with a new concept that I think could be quite powerful (and that just so happens to be rather delicious!)
I call it Sacred Sloth.

What is it? Well, every so often (I’d say every second week, but I’m still experimenting with the finer details), you give yourself a day off for Sacred Sloth. What that means is that you have full permission to sleep late, stay in bed reading till noon, wear your pyjamas all day if you like, lie in your hammock or on your couch, read voraciously, draw, eat delicious food, watch inspiring TV (none of that brain-rotting stuff!) and generally do whatever it is you feel like, in slow motion.

I had one of these days yesterday, and I have to say it’s a real tonic. It feels like I went on a mini-holiday. I highly recommend it. And because it’s only one day, there’s no need to feel guilty about wasting time. In fact, it’s the opposite of a waste of time, because a day of Sacred Sloth counteracts the effects of stress, and ensures you don’t burn out from working too hard.

Give it a go! You deserve it.

Are you ready for a challenge?

// November 20th, 2008 // No Comments » // Decisions, Life (and the living of it), Love, Philosophy

This idea has been thrown at me from three different sources in the last week or so, so I know it’s something I have to come to grips with (I’m not completely blind to the ways of the Universe!)

That said, I wouldn’t mind getting some input on it. Are you ready for a challenge?

Apparently, anything that irritates you in another person is a part of yourself that you’re either denying, or that you’re exhibiting in another area of your life. The people who frustrate and annoy you the most are the mirrors that show you what it is you’re not dealing with in your life.

Now, if you’re like me, this theory will immediately irritate you! But I must admit, once I started thinking about it, it started to make sense… Start with something easy – some mild irritation. Someone who is lazy or selfish or who you don’t think is fulfilling their potential, say. Now, can you see that trait in yourself in any area of your life? It could be in your romantic life, your friendships, your family, your work, your spiritual or your mental life – anywhere in any way. It’s a pretty powerful exercise, especially when it’s someone who you have to interact with every day. Seeing the humanity in someone who you think is a bit of a demon opens the doorway to loving and forgiving them, which translates into a whole heap less stress in your interactions with that person…

Sometimes, though, especially when it’s a deep-seated dislike or irritation, I think it can come from a part of ourselves that we suppress. I was chatting to a friend about this the other day, and she said she gets so annoyed with her colleague at work because he never listens to anyone else’s opinions – he just bulldozes any conversation until it goes his way. The reason this bothered her so much was because her mom used to do the same thing, and so my friend had suppressed her desire to be pig-headed (even a little bit, which can be quite useful at times, especially in business). She’d gone to the other extreme. Recognising that her reaction to this colleague was because of an unresolved reaction to her mom allowed her to neutralise it and let it go… Now she still thinks the colleague is an idiot, but she doesn’t get that gut emotional reaction to it.

Interesting stuff, hey? Why not give it a try? I’m going to….

Serendipitous inspiration…

// November 12th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Inspiration, Life (and the living of it), Philosophy, Writing

So I was looking through an old notebook the other day, when this photocopied page fell out. No title, no author, no page number, even, just a page of writing that happens to be deeply inspiring… It’s pretty long, so make yourself a cup of tea and settle in for a read. And let me know if you have any idea who the author is (please)!

“… We shun and reject anything unpleasant. But in fleeing from these experiences, instead of accepting them as a part of our life, we have unconsciously rejected life. We bleed and suffer needlessly over the most inconsequential details. We fail to realise, as a friend of mine likes to say, that ‘Life is a package deal.’ You don’t get to pick and choose. You don’t get to say I like this but I don’t like that. It’s a package. Take it or leave it. Even failure, sickness and misfortune play their part in the grand scheme of a life unfolding.

Accepting life in its entirety and taking time to appreciate the diversity and richness of it opens our eyes to many things we’ve taken for granted. The present moment, for example, is always alive and filled with infinite treasures. It contains far more than we are capable of receiving. See the clouds, the trees, the birds, children playing, the colours all around. The flower blooms, the insect hums, the ant crawls, night follows day – see the moon and stars. There is more beauty and joy in each day than we can ever fully appreciate.

Yet we continue to live our lives focused on future destinations – when the mortgage is paid; when my obligations are fulfilled; when I’m rich; when I meet that special someone; when things are different. Yes, all that will be fine, but what about today? What about this very moment?

There is a Zen practice called ‘drinking deeply’ that involves breaking through the restrictions of a busy mind to fully appreciate everything for what it is. When you’re eating, you experience eating fully – the taste, the colour, the texture of the food. When you’re in the garden, everything becomes special: the flowers, the sky, the air, the hum of the insects, the feel of the earth below your feet. Nothing else is needed. Everything just is. And you are there, noticing and appreciating. It takes practice, but we too can learn to do this in our own way, with our families, at our job, in our busy life. We can take the time to do it.”

Isn’t that just lovely? And there’s more! To be continued… tomorrow.

The Tale of the Sheep-Lion.

// August 7th, 2008 // Comments Off // Decisions, Inspiration, Life (and the living of it), Philosophy

It’s Friday, so I thought it might be time for a little storytelling session… So sit back, make yourself a cup of tea, and enjoy.

There once was a baby lion cub whose mother died. Orphaned, he was taken in by a flock of sheep who taught him how to eat grass and how to bleat, and how to move as one with the flock. They loved the baby lion, and he loved them, but there was a part of him that knew that he didn’t really fit in. One day, a fully grown lion came bounding over the hill and into the middle of the flock. The sheep all ran away in hysteria, but the young sheep-lion recognised the similarity of the lion to himself, and approached him. In time, the lion taught the lion cub what it meant to be a lion (although he never once ate sheep!)

Now obviously, I’ve paraphrased that (probably quite badly) – it’s from my practical philosophy course. But what it serves as is a bit of a parable. We take on the nature of those around us, because it’s what everyone does. But then one day a lion appears – either externally in the form of an event or the ending of a relationship or an illness etc – or internally, when we suddenly have a lightbulb moment. And in that moment, when we’re face to face with our ‘lion’ we’re reminded that we’re more than human. We see the truth of the situation.

We acquire certain traits to play the game of life, and they’re good and necessary. But they aren’t all that there is to us. We all have a number of different roles – daughter/son, mother/father, boyfriend/girlfriend, employee/employer, teacher/student, friend. We all have these roles, and we can play them beautifully, so long as we remember that they aren’t all there is to us. The layers that we coat ourselves in – which might seem permanent and substantial – get shattered when we’re exposed to the truth. Our world demands to be interpreted differently.

And that, I think, is something to be thought about…